Out to Sea

December, 1973

As the months went on, Brandy had only let herself yearn for Andrew to come back twice. The first was when a regular in the tavern had pointed out the necklace he had gifted her before her birthday. She had made sure to take special care of it in the time since Andrew left, a special reminder of a love that seemingly was not meant to last. The old man had smiled at her, taking time to tell her just how good of a wife she would be. It had stung hearing that along with the mention of Andrew's gift. It wasn't that she was opposed to the thought of marriage. In truth, she had heard it from plenty of lonely sailors that would day dream about what it would have looked like if they had settled down instead of committing their life to the sea. However, the mention of the only man that had made her feel anything in her 20 years of life made her wonder what a life with him would actually be like. That night, her dreams were filled with the curly-haired sailor, his sweet embrace, and how he would come back to her, claiming his love for her over his commitment to his livelihood.

The second time her heart triumphed over her rational mind was almost a year after their initial meeting. As she neared her birthday, the flame of hope for Andrew to return to her for her birthday burned brightly inside her. November faded into December, the clouds and rain rolling in over the Pacific Coast, Brandy was more attuned to the people who came through the bar. Part of her hoped she might see one of the men that had been part of Andrew's crew if not the sailor himself. She had held out hope for him to waltz through the tavern doors as her birthday drew nearer. She started going into town more often, hoping to meet him again. At one point, she had even found herself overcome with joy as she spotted a mop of brown curls blowing in the wind, calling out for him in the middle of the street and bounding up to the man. Only as he turned, she stopped abruptly as he, in fact, wasn't who she thought he was. The only thing that saved her from embarrassment at the time was that the man had not heard her but another sailor that was calling him by his actual name.

Brandy couldn't help but feel foolish that night as she bustled around the bar, serving customers mindlessly. Her thoughts remained on that day and how she had only let herself down. She knew better than to feel so strongly for a sailor, the words of her mother ringing through her ears. "No matter how much they feel for you, the sea will be their first love, always." Brandy knew this mostly came from her mother's insecurities about her father, her mother never quite getting over the fact he could have stayed home with his pregnant lover due to his age, instead choosing to join his brothers and friends and getting himself killed overseas. Brandy had never known him, only seeing her resemblance to him through a photo she had found of him as a teen, holding her mother close to him. Even still, she knew that if he were to walk in the door that minute, she would throw all caution to the wind, letting herself savor the time she had with him. Even if it was only for a night, she wanted, needed, to know what it felt like to be loved by him.

As the big day approached, a pit began to form in Brandy's stomach. The lack of a certain Irishman in the tavern made her feel like her insides were twisting into a knotted pile of rope, the anticipation of an all but broken promise hanging around her. The evening before her birthday, she followed her normal routine. She listened to the sailors singing out of tune as she practically floated through the tavern. Instead of letting herself fall into the all too inviting trap of longing for him, she simply let herself bask in the warmth and joy of those that surrounded her. Those who frequented the bar always made her feel extra special during this time of year, making sure she still felt like she had family surrounding her. Brandy appreciated their efforts and took them in stride as the sun set over the horizon.

As she dragged a damp rag over the bar, cleaning up a puddle of beer that had sloshed out of a man's cup, she heard the bell attached to the top of the door chime, making it known someone was entering the tavern. She paid no mind, continuing to wipe down the bar until a pair of hands appeared on the edge of the slab of wood as a man slid into the seat in front of her. "Happy birthday, lass," a sweet voice enveloped her ears, wrapping her in warmth and making her stop abruptly. Her eyes met a pair of muddy green orbs staring straight into her soul.

She gasped as she recognized the man that had all but plagued her thoughts in the last few days, the rag falling from her hand as she absentmindedly wrapped her fingers over the pendant that hung above her heart. "You came," she let out, her chest catching as she held her breath, blinking slowly in fear he would disappear.

"I told you I would," a smile tugged at his lips as he took in the woman in front of him. She hadn't changed much in the past year, her eyes being the only thing that shone brighter than the last time he had gazed at the beautiful woman in front of him.

Her face matched his expression as she all but pinched herself to convince herself that it wasn't a dream. "I can't believe it," Brandy's voice shook slightly as she spoke to him before hurrying from behind the bar and over to him, "you actually came."

His smile grew wider, "I think you've already said that, honey."

Her breath caught again at the nickname as she realized just what he had managed to do to make her feel special. He had come all the way back to Long Beach, effectively keeping his promise to her and making her feel like she was the only woman in the world that mattered to him. The nickname he had used made it even sweeter, the word wrapping her in a blanket of joy and comfort. She reached out for him, his arms wrapping around her waist in a hug that consumed all of the doubt that had built up around her in the last year, leaving only the overwhelming happiness that flooded her system. "How long can you stay?" she breathed in his almost intoxicating scent, hope building in her.

"Let's focus on tonight," he whispered into her ear, pulling her further into him and stroking her hair.

Brandy knew what he meant. She knew that he would be gone again soon and there was no guarantee he would see her again after he left. She nodded into him, deciding that it was better to love and lose than to never have the chance to love him at all. She would take tonight, and any time spent with him after that, and cherish it.

Over the next five hours, they talked and laughed as the bar emptied out, eventually leaving them to themselves in the now quiet tavern as the light flickered around them. As it rounded 1:00 in the morning, she finally locked the tavern doors, turning to the man who had the majority of the attention that night. "Stay with me tonight," she smiled at him, her eyes holding hope that he would accept.

Andrew walked over to her, pulling her close to him while making sure to maintain eye contact. She would never know it, but his favorite part about her was how her eyes would pick up the light, making specks of lighter brown sparkle against the majority of the darker chocolate color. "Okay, honey," he said, smiling down at the woman that he had dreamt of returning to almost every night in the last 365 days.

They hardly slept that night, too busy talking about their lives and getting to know each other as much as possible. As they sat on the couch in her small home, they moved closer to one another, each enjoying the comfort of the other's presence. As they quieted down for the evening, Andrew pulled her ever closer into him, laying a kiss on her forehead before speaking, "Sleep now, love. I'll be here when you wake up."

She merely nodded her head weakly, letting sleep consume her as his arms and promises wrapped around her.

And just like last time, he had kept the promise to be there when she awoke. It was then she decided to believe that he would never make a promise that he could not keep. While there was no way to be sure, it brought her comfort to think he would not lie or deceive her.

Over the next two days, Brandy had savored every moment with curly haired man. She knew their time was coming to an end once again, but this time she knew that he would come back the same time next year as he promised her the same thing he had before. While a small part of her hoped that he would be back even sooner, she knew in her heart it would feel all the more special when she saw him again.