In The Shadows // A Sebastian Sallow FanFic

Rainy Redemption

Please talk to me.

As thunder rumbled overhead and rain fell relentlessly, Sebastian's words echoed in my mind.

Please talk to me.

It was all I wanted over summer. To talk to him. To hear from my best friend. I had wanted nothing more than friendship with the drenched Slytherin boy standing before me.

I wasn't sure what I wanted anymore. I felt as though my heart was being tugged in one thousand directions. Forgiving Sebastian and returning back to our distant acquaintanceship felt painful. Staying angry at him felt... easier, but came with more guilt. Admitting how wounded I was by his behavior just for him to tell me he didn't want to be friends might destroy me.

I was hurt. Hurt by the way he'd ignored me all summer. Hurt by the way he'd acted toward me in the Three Broomsticks. Hurt he'd chased me into a thunderstorm. I didn't understand his actions and the confusion beget more pain.

If Sebastian truly wanted to mend things, I needed answers first.

I steeled myself, ignoring the frigid wet robes clinging to my skin. Coming out into the storm was probably a stupid decision but I felt like I'd nowhere left to run.

Standing in the pouring rain, I was close enough to Sebastian that I could feel the heat rolling off of him. It made me want to move closer.

I shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts.

"Sebastian," I began, hoping the pattering of rain disguised my wavering voice.

"Yes?" He responded quickly. Sebastian took a step nearer. I ducked my head, cheeks flushing at the proximity. "Tell me."

"I'm confused," I felt my voice crack, tears once again spilling out. "Why did you act like that last night? Why did you chase me now?"

My emotions, as wild as the gale surrounding us, were overwhelming me. I let them take hold, slamming my fists into Sebastian's chest.

"Why didn't you write me all summer?" I cried. "Why did you try to apologize for it when you had every opportunity to write me?! Did you really pretend to be my friend for a whole year just so someone would help you with Anne?! This whole time I thought you were my best friend but you were just... you were just using me! Do you know how bad that hurts?!"

I was cut off by a clap of thunder. I jumped, startled, and felt Sebastian's hands fly up to encircle me. He pulled me against him and I submitted, sobs wracking my body.

"I hate you," I hiccupped into his chest. My fists were balled, forehead pressed to his collarbone. I could feel Sebastian's shaky breath against my hair, his arms holding me tightly as though he thought I might disappear if he let go.

"Hadley," his voice was choked. "I can explain. I can... I can try to explain. Please let me try."

I swallowed, trying to steady my breath and stave off the tears. Being in Sebastian's arms was a new experience. Even though it was in the middle of a thunderstorm, his embrace calmed my frantic nerves. I could smell that familiar scent of cedarwood and pine lulling my consciousness.

I pulled back, tilting my head up to look at the boy I used to call my best friend. Our noses were nearly brushing. Our eyes met and I was caught again in his gaze.

In the rain and moonlight, I could study every detail of Sebastian's face. The freckles I found so charming graced prominent cheekbones. Proud brows, long and thick lashes, and ginger-brown hair framed what had become a devilishly handsome face. His full lips were slightly parted, shining from rain. I traced my way back to his amber eyes, but he wasn't looking into mine.

He was staring... at my lips.

"Sebastian," I breathed, my heart pounding as I pushed away from him. He let go and I quickly backed up. Was he about to...?

"I was afraid, Hadley." Sebastian ran a hand through his hair, quickly filling the tense silence. "I was afraid of what you'd think of me after how you saw me last year. I didn't write because... because if I were you, I'd be terrified of me."

"Terrified of you?" I echoed, brows furrowed. The rain was beginning to slow.

"I tortured you," Sebastian's voice was strained. "I used Dark Magic in front of you. Gods, you saw what I did to my own uncle. You should hate me, Hadley. You should be disgusted by me."

"Sebastian... I am not disgusted by you," I said. "I don't really hate you. I could never."

"Well, anyone logical could after last year!" He let out a pained laugh. "I could not bring myself to write you knowing that there was chance you hated me! The person who I was last year... he was sick. I dragged you around the countryside on some stupid wild goose chase while you picked up the pieces of my mess. When I should've been helping you literally save the world."

"I had so many chances to stop," his voice broke as he continued. "I had so many opportunities to show you I was a better man. And instead, I caved to my own darkness. I wish you hadn't been there to see that. I wish I hadn't been so blinded by my desire to save Anne that I missed the fact that I was destroying the only friendships I had. Hadley, you will always be my best friend."

The rain had almost completely let up, moonlight gleaming off shining cobblestone as Sebastian once again treaded closer to me.

"Hadley," Sebastian whispered, "I am so sorry for not writing you. I tried all summer to find a way to tell you these things. You would be appalled at the amount of parchment burnt in my fireplace. I just couldn't... I didn't know how... how to say all this. I'm so sorry."

I stared at him, at a loss for words.

"And last night?" I asked. He grimaced, looking away.

"Though you may no longer see me as a friend, I'm still going to do my damndest to protect you. Even though I know you don't need it."

I laughed. He perked up at the sound.

"You did see me win that duel earlier, right?" I giggled. "If anything, you should be protecting people from me!"

"Awful confident of you, Grace," Sebastian smirked. "I imagine I could give the Crossed Wands Championess a run for her money."

"Is that right?" I smiled. "Perhaps a duel is in order."

"Actually, I think I'm too sick to fight you." Sebastian faked a cough. "Forever, that is."

"I don't want to fight you either," I said. I stepped forward before reaching up to wrap my arms around Sebastian once again. He locked me in his arms and squeezed.

"I'm sorry, Hadley," Sebastian whispered. I buried my face in the crook of his neck, happily soaking in his comforting aroma. The rain had ended, tempest replaced with the serene silence of midnight.

"I'm sorry too," I murmured against his neck. "Let's not fight again."

I heard Sebastian chuckle into my hair. "As you wish, Grace."