Earth-247

Jack of All Trades

The intersection personified chaos. Rain drenched it and showed no signs of stopping; vehicles made spectacles of themselves with screeching halts, honking horns, and incandescent lights; pedestrians ambulated raucously, contentedly irreverent in their own little worlds. Jack stared out the tall windows of the corner café at the volatile environment; he saw a bomb and feared he was the fuse.

He tried to calm his nerves with another sip of coffee. He knew he was out of place in the establishment - he didn't just think he was; he knew it. He could hear the thoughts of his fellow patrons, even though they weren't speaking out loud.

That's a big dude.

Man looks like he just got out of prison.

It would've been hilarious if he'd've gotten a real frou-frou drink. Big hulking man sipping a dainty frappé through a fat straw? I'm gonna have to remember that for my webcomic.

Yeah, I'm getting mine to go today. Creep.

Don't. Stare. At. His. Muscles. Damn it, what did I just say?

He wouldn't have minded if all the thoughts were more like the last one. At least she wasn't afraid of him. He took another sip and tried to tune everyone out.

A small voice broke his concentration. "Um, hi."

He turned and saw a young woman with straight, blonde hair. She couldn't have been older than Adrienne, his eldest niece who was in high school. He couldn't remember what grade.

What the fuck am I doing?! he heard her think. He recognized her inner voice as the one that complimented his muscles earlier.

"Uh. Hey," he offered gruffly.

"I just felt like you needed to hear something nice, so I wanted to tell you... that you have very nice muscles." She immediately recoiled, deeply embarrassed.

Did I make her do that? he wondered.

"Uh. Thanks- thank you. That's very kind. But, uh, little lady, I am way out of your age range, so you better skedaddle."

"Yes, sir!" she squeaked and scurried away.

A sharp pang cut across Jack's torso. He needed to get out of here. He threw his coat on and plunged his fist into his coat pocket, hoping to find enough change for a cup of coffee to go. He came up empty.

"Excuse me, sir!" a barista called from behind the counter. "Would you like a refill to go? It's on the house!"

"Uh-" Jack winced as another pang fired. He caught his breath and accepted the offer through gritted teeth, then grabbed the cup and hurried out the door.

Outside, the voices in his head from other people's heads grew more dissonant, overlapping each other into indiscernibility. The pedestrians moved around him on the sidewalk, wordlessly compelled to get out of his way. He only wished he could walk in a straight line. His palms clutched his temples in a vain attempt to quell the disorientation.

"Just leave me alone!" he finally screamed. He had but a moment of clarity to realize he'd stumbled into the middle of the street. The taxi driver had even less time to react, and his cab collided headlong into Jack.

***

Scott knew the time was coming. He could only stand this hellhole for so much longer.

"Next!" the cafeteria lady barked. Scott had never seen her (or any of the faculty members, for that matter), but he recognized her voice. She was actually one of the nice ones. He balanced the knob of his cane between two fingers, picked up a tray, and joined the queue.