Shedding

Peach

There was a time that I had velvety skin wrapped around my body- though now a distant memory, I can still remember how silky smooth it was. Such splendid skin that smelt of sweet vanilla; it was soft like a cloud, smooth as silk, and had no marks- not one freckle, scar, mole, or peculiar spot on my body. Oh, how I yearn for the feel of my delicate toned skin, I adored it, and I mustn't forget my luscious thick black kinky hair in a wolf-cut hairstyle. With golden honey-brown eyes, bouncy curly hair that framed my sharp face perfectly, and porcelain skin it all made me look like an angel. It was undeniable that I was the golden child of the family, I got good grades and was expected to achieve so much in life, I made for a good poster child and was favored by all. My looks were the main reason for my popularity and arrogance from others, not so much my personality, for my personality didn't matter if I had a pretty face. Yet, through my... Well, drastic change in looks I've become the monster hidden away in the attic, instead of the pride and joy of a daughter I once was. Just one somber day turned my life into nothing but a red-stained hell.
On that day I woke from my deep slumber feeling groggy, I had no idea what catastrophe I had woken to. As per usual I went to the bathroom to change, and to do my hygiene routine- the room smelled freshly clean. Yet, immediately as I stumbled into the bathroom I saw the grotesque look of my skin. I can still recall perfectly how scaly, dry, and crusted it was like a horrible sunburn. I leaned in closer to the mirror to ensure what I was seeing, as my face turned into a horrified and disgusted expression flakes of skin fell from the wrinkles like dandruff. My skin was peeling off of my body uncontrollably, and all I could do was scream in the udder terror I was facing. My mother's footsteps thumped louder and louder as she ran to me until I could hear her gasp and shriek like some frightened ghost from the door frame of the bathroom. I turned to her with tears running down my face, it burned as salty tears seeped under my skin through the dry cracks to the tissue underneath, the appalled expression she had just looking at me crushed me, and all I could do was whimper "Mom.". When I fumbled to try and be embraced by her, for some type of soothing, she stepped back with a face disturbed by the horrific sight. She shut the bathroom door and said "Stay in there!" with a fearful tone, repeating "Oh my god." over and over until she was too far for me to hear, I know now that she was facing a surreal nightmare of her golden child becoming an indescribable ugly beast, as well as the fact that the sight she would have seen was terrifying and must have put her in shock. I slumped to the floor right by the now-closed door and became dazed for an unknown time until I rose, sat on the toilet, and just cried. Suddenly an idea popped into my head to try and solve my dilemma, I turned the shower knob to the left to medium heat and undressed. Though the water was not heated I got into the shower instantaneously and began to vigorously scrub, I kept scrubbing and scrubbing trying to remove the disgusting dried skin, I could hear my skin and the loofa scratching against each other, sounding like sandpaper rubbing against itself, it hurt so much and still does.
    With great alarm, a red tint began to stain my loofa, but not only that but that red slobber-like consistency of blood dripped down and corrupted the water. The air began to be infected by the smell of blood and dead skin instead of sweet vanilla from my candle and bleach from cleaning. As I looked around all I could see was blood as if a massacre had occurred, and I felt the sinking realization of what I had done. My plan had worked... but it wasn't the exact outcome I had anticipated. The immense amount of violent scrubbing had scratched off the dead skin but left me with nothing- well except my muscular meat. How could I have not noticed before? My skin had fallen off and left me with blood-drenched muscles. This gory sight made me dizzy and I lost balance and slipped on the slimy blood mixed with water, and toppled over. From my knee up I was out of the shower laying, then from my knee down I hung on the rim of the bathtub- my toes had begun to wrinkle since they rested in the water from the still turned-on shower for so long, which caused more peeling. My head was pounding, it was unlike any migraine, but that was because I had a concussion from the impact of my head to the floor. The dark red goop streamed from not only my head but from the spots of now missing skin. There was red all over, just like the fact that bacteria are everywhere no matter what, blood was everywhere- every nook and cranny blood found a way to creep into it, and no amount of cleaning could truly get rid of it all. It was a curious thing, the new sense of touch I had gained, I could feel the particles- like dust, dirt, and other creatures floating in the air. As I lay there I could feel my skin slipping off, like a slimy face mask sliding off my face. I closed my eyes with the feeling of my chest sinking in and hoped to wake from this nightmare but this was reality.
    When I woke, this nightmare didn't end but was even more traumatizing than before. I was cocooned in dead skin, and I could see how translucent it was as it was now completely detached from me. I should add that though I describe the skin as dead, only the surface of it was truly dead and flaking off yet was still healthy-ish underneath the layer of crusted skin, but no matter it still had severed itself from my body. I sat up, and at that moment I had truly given up. I couldn't cry, scream, or seek comfort. All that was left of my thoughts were nothing but a blurry swirling mass of thousands of thoughts at once yet it was also as if my thoughts had completely disappeared, blank yet exploding with thought put simply. So I just accepted my fate, as the sound of the running shower and the steam from the warm water filled my lungs I took deep croaking wet thick breaths and readjusted myself to begin to slide the crinkly skin off my slimy meaty body with a dazed sort of look. Flakes broke off as I ripped and unwrapped myself from my old mask of flesh. I was like a snake, slowly peeling off my shell of dead skin to let the world see my new appearance, but this new appearance would disgust and disturb all the ones I love instead of youthful and colorful scales. From my legs to my torso, then my arms, hands, and neck. When it came to my face it more fell off than peeled off, and when I slid it off my face I looked at it since it was still in one piece. It reminded me of a beauty face mask, like the ones you use when you do have skin to place it on- it had the cuts of where your eyes and mouth would be except it was more bloody and disturbing. Then when it comes to my scalp, well I'll keep this brief since the true gore of this event is too much even for me to remember. My scalp was still somewhat intact, but I just wanted it all over and at that point had about lost my mind so I grabbed my hair and yanked it all off. My face showed true pain as I grit my teeth and winced my eyes, and the tears added more pain burning when in contact with my tissue. Bloody tissue strands that attached my skull and scalp were hanging on still, but I kept pulling. Finally, with a loud sharp gooey sort of snap, they broke and my hair was free. It was shaped like a wig, and I just curled up into a fetal position and brushed my now-lost hair with my fingers. Blood dripped down my face and into my eyes, but I didn't care to wipe it off. I just let it burn and irritate my now bloodshot teary eyes, and from then on I only see red.
    My world has turned red, yet I'm used to it at this point. I truly don't know how long it's been, but I don't care anymore. All I long for is the ending of my suffering; ever since that day, my 'mother' has locked me in my room and hasn't spoken one word to me since. I sit here in a dark room with only my thoughts which have turned dark and suicidal as I realize there is no future for a creature like me. Though it's sad, if you were me you'd feel the same, even if you weren't me when you saw how disgusting I am you would want me dead- who wouldn't want a monster such as I dead? So, this is my goodbye or more my thought process up to this point at which I'm at. I've been locked away here for much too long, and I believe I've lost my mind. One should never be so disconnected from the world, but I know the world would've banished me no matter what. That's okay, I've accepted it, who would be able to see me as the bloody meat that I am without being utterly disgusted. Even I am disgusted by the grotesque monster I have become. I am going to attempt an escape, truly I just want to see the stars. Very rarely do the stars come out for all to see but when they do what a sight it is to see. Hopefully, I'll be able to see them at least once when I attempt my escape from this hellish reality. All of this has led me to this state I'm in and so I write this to document my story. I don't know who I'd want to read this but maybe I just want to recall everything to regain my thoughts and designate them to a piece of paper.