engl. - BEING WITH HIM; kookv

TWENTY-THREE

Jeongguk

That it took Taehyung nearly two weeks to answer my text was really unexpected. I thought he'd text back immediately. On the night of Kai's party, we spent most of the time with each other and how things went made me unbelievably confident. We really got along well and Taehyung even said he felt something between us — a connection, as if we already knew each other for a long time. That's why I didn't think he'd let me wait for so long.

This time, it wasn't Yoongi who was pessimistic about that whole situation, but Hoseok actually. »Maybe he's never going to answer. Like ever. His coked up brain probably forgot about it already.«, he said as we sat in the cafeteria a week ago, talking about that matter. »God, would you stop bringing the drug thing into this? You weren't even there.«, I complained as he, again, brought up that topic together with Taehyung. »You guys told me everything I need to know. And I know Kai. You honestly can't just take that so lightly, Jeongguk. That's not smoking a bit of weed.«, the brown haired reminded me and leaned over the table more towards me. »That's smoking a lot of weed, with pills and coke and God knows what else. That's too much, honestly.«, he spoke into my conscience.

»Yeah, but that really is incidental right now. Why is he not answering my texts? Everything went fine, we got along so so well.«, I came back to the original topic. »Fine, whatever you say.«, the older said and started focusing on the essential matter for my sake.  »You know what kind of things he already had to deal with lately. I don't know, Guk, but maybe he just has to deal with something else right now.«, he started arraying assumption. »He's got this dude he sleeps with and this completely different life, of what we don't know anything about.« I let his words circulate through my brain before I wanted to reply. »You met him by accident quite often already.« He laughed.

»That might have to be destiny. But right now you really can't do more than just wait. I know that you maybe don't want to hear it, but there's still a chance that he doesn't want to text you back.«, he then said. »No, I don't think that's it.«, I insisted stubbornly. Hobi smiled. »I'd suggest you ask Kai if he knows anything, but I'm not sure if that doesn't count as stalking already — the way you're so obsessed with that boy. What do you even get out of being friends with him? Aren't we good enough for you?«, he said. If it'd be just that — then it wouldn't occupy my brain that much. I shook my head and thought about how to explain it to him. How I could best describe why it was so important for me to get to know Taehyung more.

»I'm not obsessed. I don't know, I just kinda feel something, you know?«, I made my first miserable try. »You feel something? You mean like..« The look in his eyes signaled me to finish his sentence myself. »I could fall in love.«, I clarified. His brows raised and he smiled surprised. »No, really? How cute is that?« I just rolled my eyes to his comment and smiled as well. »That is the reason — I just have that feeling clinging to me and I don't want to get rid of it.«, I explained further. I'd talked to Yoongi about this a few days ago already and he told me something that really made me think things through again. 

»You know what Yoongi said to this?«, I asked Hoseok, who ate a fork full of salad. »What?« I took a sip of my lemonade. »That I'm a romantic.«, I said, laughing. Hoseok had to grin. Then I paused and thought about my next words. I lowered my gaze onto the table and noticed my smile slowly faltering. »And that I'm afraid of losing those potential feelings for Taehyung and never finding something like that again.« Hobi's expression too got a little more serious as I looked up at him again. »I'm twenty-one and never in my life have I looked at someone and felt.. so much. Saw so much in one single person.«

There was a slot of silence and Hoseok's kind smile brought a similar one onto my lips as well. »Shit, listen to yourself, man.«, the brown haired laughed. »That's some cheesy ass stuff.« I shook my head and boxed his shoulder playfully. »Hobi, I'm being serious. I like him — this is important to me.«, I clarified and looked at him almost pleadingly. I wanted him to be on my side. »Fine, all right. Looks like I'm ignoring his dangerous as hell drug-problem then.«, he said jokingly. I rolled my eyes, smiling. »Thank you very much, Mother Teresa.«, I replied. »Hey, stop that.«, he cautioned me — the look in his eyes a little more serious again. »I still think this is fucked up bullshit, Guk. You two better become a couple and you fix all this and make him stop. Jimin's trying already.«