Eunoia | Sirius Black

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Haslemere, Surrey, 1981
May 4th, pleasantly warm

It's only a couple of days later when I'm clutching the bed sheet so tight, that not even a single sound escapes my lips.

There are times when it's so good that he has me screaming and begging to go on, but then there are these times when the feeling is so out of the world that I simply shut down. It's like taking a box of weed, high and the ceiling is spinning and it's so unbearable you can't say a word. 

His tongue digs deep inside me, and a moment later he's nibbling on my clit. And it's then that I shatter so, so fantastically that there are tears in my eyes. 

He rises, streaks of white on his lips as he looks at me with the strangest merge of affection and lust and sin and love and most of all, pride. 

I think I'm rolling my eyes but I can't be sure because I don't see anything except stars. 

And he's one of them, the brightest of all, standing like a god between my thighs, his long hair whipping behind from the wind coming through our open windows. 

He's everything good, I crave him, now more than ever. Having gone too much time without the love of my life, now everything seems lonely when he's not here. I think I might die if something happens to him. 

I smile tiredly and he lays his head down on my chest. My hands find his hair in the haze of sleep and he hums in satisfaction when my fingers lace in the messy raven locks, gently and absently massaging his scalp. 

There was a moment when I thought I'd fallen asleep but then there was bright silver light breaking through our room, jerking us both upright. 

"Hogwarts, Headmaster's chamber. Now."

"Albus," I say as if the huge Phoenix doesn't make it obvious. 

Sirius groans, turning to me to kiss my lips roughly. I gasp in surprise as he puts his full body weight on me, devouring me. 

There are kisses where you're sweet, there are some that are filled with lust. His are pure sinful, he fills my soul with desire so vast and endless, it might envy that of God Eros.

"Sirius," I whisper when he changes positions so I'm on top of him. 

"Mhm?"

"We - " 

I don't get to say much because soon his hands are travelling in directions they shouldn't, and the sound is stolen from my throat. It's him, everywhere, all at once. 

"We need to go," I say, pushing him away, albeit way too reluctantly. 

He sees my half-hearted effort and a sleepy boyish grin takes over his face. He is so gorgeous that sometimes I can't breathe. The mere thought that I out of all people get to see him in all his glory, makes me feel things I can't explain. 

"My beautiful girl," He whispers, kissing my forehead. 

Then he's taken me into his arms and my hands are clasped behind his neck as he takes us to the bathroom. 

It's nearly fifteen minutes when I'm done dressing up. My hair is still messy and his are smooth like they were never touched. For a moment I just stare at them with my jaw hanging low and he smirks, pecking my cheek. 

We both reach the Headmaster's cabin through floo and all our giddiness is demolished the moment we find a crying Lily sitting down on the floor with an equally distraught James trying to hold her up. 

I look at Sirius and I see how scared he is even though nothing shows on his face. I leave his hand and run towards Lily, taking her hand in mine. Harry is playing with Neville whom I noticed later is here with Alice and Frank.