[fanfiction] - Adam Carlson's POV of the Love Hypothesis

confrontations - part III

If some higher entity would have enlighted me about my future this morning, telling me that, by the end of the day, I would be in a pretend-relationship with Olive Smith, having a conversation with her about the semantics of it - well, I would simply have preferred to believe having a stroke, rather than accepting said entity could be right. 

And, well, maybe I have a stroke. Because I still can't make myself believe that she would even consider this - in a serious way. Like, really following up with a plan. actions. the whole spiel. 

That's why I sound like a parrot, when she says:

"Have you considered getting a real girlfriend?"

And I conquer (like a bratty teen) with: 

"Have you considered getting a real date?"

I see her upper lip twitch as if she's really trying not to laugh and a moment, that feels like eternity I wait for the sound of that. Is that reality? A world in which I could make Olive Smith smile? laugh? A world where we would share a joke?

"Touché." She doesn't laugh, but the right corner of her mouth rises, showing me the most adorable dimple in her cheek. A small one, almost to be confused with a wrinkle. 

But I know better. I know its not a wrinkle but most definitely a dimple. And I am absolutely mesmerized by the sight. That's why I don't immediately follow up to what she's referring, when she says:

"It would be complicated." 

"What would be?" Still staring at her cheeks, who are now encased with the faintest blush. 

"To pretend that we're dating." Her eyebrows crinkle again and while I don't wanna invalidate her concerns, I also find myseld highly amused by the fact, that she's not able to see the irony in her statement.

"Really? It would be complicated to make people think that we're dating?" She huffs at me and I have to bite my tongue not to laugh. 

"Okay, I see your point. But it would be hard to do so convincingly for a prolonged period." I one hundred percent share this opinion, that's why my inner opportunist emerges, pretending to downplay this particular concern. You know, like an asshole.

"We'll be fine, as long as we say hi to each other in the hallways and you don't call me Dr. Carlsen."

Don't you see, Olive? It's a walk in the park. Easy as pie. Don't come up with logic and reason to somehow convince yourself - and me - that this is an absolute crackpot idea. 

Despite the fact that it is. An absolute insane amount of 'bad idea' and I really try my best to mask my own concerns. Questions, that arise about the metrics of said fake relationship, I am so non-chalantly campaigning for. 

"I don't think people who are dating just . . . say hi to each other." She sounds hesitant and I am completely caught off guard. Because my fantasy runs wild and overboard with all the implications of that. Dating her. Her, specifically. Like PDA. 

Would she want that? Would she even consider that necessary? And how would I know?

"What do people who are dating do?" I try my best NOT to sound like I am beating around the bushes, while that is clearly what I do. 

Her answer is a nonverbal sign of surprise: An open mouth - no words coming out of it. 

And I simply jump to the worst of conclusions, something, that should have been on the forefront of my mind the whole time: By being this honest, I placate my inexperience on the topic in a very unhealthy, yet very honest way.