Team Mustang: Dare or Dare!

Pissed

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters! If I did Royai would already be canon! All characters are owned by Hiromu Arakawa!

Hawkeye's POV

"Why can't ROY have some thought for others? Why is he so selfish?"

I was walking in the hallway. I looked like any other person just calmly walking down a hallway so why was everyone backing away from me?

Oh ok, maybe maybe my fists were clenched, my shoulders tense and maybe I was glaring at everybody but that's beyond the point. "Ugggghhh" all this was just really pissing me off, so I decided to go take a walk around the city. It was peaceful and calm as I exited the building. As I ran across the street I ran into General Mira Oliver Armstrong (Told you this fanfic is random :p)

"General Armstrong! What are you doing here?" I said trying my best not to glare as I saluted her.

She salutes back.
There is no way she can tell.

"Riza there is no need to be so formal, you have known me for a long time! You can call me Mira off military grounds!" She said with a worried smile. "Anyways..."

O God she knows that I'm pissed.

"... Are you ok? Did something happen? Did someone piss you off? I'll go over and punch them for you! Hell I'll give them a beating!"

I laugh at her guessable response. I think of her offer and laugh at the thought of Roy seeing General Armstrong and getting beat up. I try my best not to say yes as I say "No hahaha thank hahahaha you. I'm HAhahaHa fine HAHAhahaHAHA."

I'm fine I thought,as I laugh so loud that the once surprised General, is now scared.

"Riza I don't think you're fine. Oh fuck that, I know you're not ok." She says as she steadies me because I'm falling over, smacking my side and laughing my head off.

"I'm AHAHAHAAHAHAH fine MUHAHAAHAHAHH I HAHAHAHAH swear HEHEHEHEEH" I say to her.

I'm fine. Right?

"Riza any dumbass can see that you're not fine! They might even mistake you for drunk!" She says as a young military officer comes and stands right next to them, (Remember that Riza is still laughing her head off and looks really drunk) and says to his friends,

"No drunks around here"
"Yep"
"No people looking drunk"
"Nope don't see anyone."
"But we might of missed something so let's ask this lady."
"Good idea"
"Say have you seen any drunk people around?"
"No, and care to list things to help me identify a drunk?" Mira says obviously pissed that they didn't realize her rank.
"Well the are usually really mad, or really happy as in laughing their heads off..."
"I see. What are your names by the way?" Mira says coldly.
"I'm Willy Barnfield!" Says the man who talked first.
"I'm David Woodfield" says the second.
"We're brothers from another mother!" They replied with dopey grins on their faces.
"Oh that's nice. So any other attributes that makes a drunk easier to spot?" She says, clearly amused.

As for me. I'm still laughing my head off.

"They also sometimes rant about random things"

I also happen to be ranting about how come tigers get to live in theatres while pandas get to live in candy stores.

"I see... So by ranting random things you mean like how come tigers get to live in theatres while pandas get to live in candy stores?"
She says with a smirk on her face
"Yes that's the sort of crazy we are looking for!"

While they're talking I'm dramatically explaining on how tigers have to bathe in props while pandas bathe in candy.

"Well I'll tell you if I see anything" Mira says barely holding back her laughter.
"Thanks mam! That helps a lot!"

"Bye bye birrrrdddddddiiiiiiieeeeeee!" I scream as they walk away.

"Did you hear anything?" Willy asks
"Nope" David replies
And they walk away.

"AHAHAHAAHAHA! I can't believe that there really are dumbasses in this world! Mira laughed not being able to hold it back anymore. "Willy Barnfield and David WoodField huh? Well boys you'll be in for some fun when I report you to your leading officer!" She says with a cold smile on her face.

"WHY!? WHY MUST TIGERS LIVE LIKE THIS? WHY!?" I rant as I sob and sob and sob.

"Ok first things first we are getting you out of here." Mira says as she drags me to her car.

"NuioooOOO" I scream as she pushes me into the backseat.

"What about mwuhaha your meeting? Hehehe"

"You know what fuck that meeting." She says. As she drives away from the building.

"You look drunk by the way." Mira says.

"I'm not drunk I swear!" I say but I start to hiccup so it sounds more like...

"I'M hic hiccup NOTTTTTTT burp I SWEEEAAAAA hic hic RRRRRR!"
"Ok shut up"

I pull open a window and scream "IT'S hic hiccup FRRRRIIIII burp DAAAYYY hic GOOTTTTTAAA burrrppp GETT DOWWWNNNZZZZZ ON hic hic FRIZDAYYYY!"

And we happen to pass a mother and a little boy.
And people just happen to walk I front of the car.
And we just happened to stop.
Exactly beside them.
At that moment.

"Mommy, what's that?" The little boy asks.
"It's just a person who's really happy because it's Friday." She replies with a fake smile on her face.
"Like daddy! Daddy is always extra happy on Friday, after he drinks his special daddy happy juice!"
"Yes, like daddy after he drinks his happy juice." She sighs as she pulls the little boy away.

The car jolts forward so I sit back down. "Hmmmmmm, I wonder what their doing back at the office." I wonder.

But then I'm like.

Fuck Roy, Roy's a bitch as we drive further away from the building.