On Our Last Breath

10

CAMERON

Present

I stared at myself in the mirror of the bathroom and tried to push the self-deprecating thoughts from my head. I was the epitome of embarrassment.

This was what Dad had always instilled in me and I was starting to believe him. I was starting to see that he was right.

Letting out a sharp breath, I ran my hands under the running water and rinsed my face. The cold water was refreshing against the weariness that shrouded my body. I felt tired all the time now, like no matter how much I slept, the world resting on my shoulders would never give me a chance to breathe.

I shut off the water and dried my face and hands with the towel hanging on the side. With a stabilizing breath, I unlocked the door and walked out, shutting off the light behind me.

Walking into the living room, I found Lia standing with her arms stretched over her head, her fingers tangled in her hair. She was dressed in a pair of pajama pants that hung from her hips and a long-sleeved shirt that rose, revealing the strip of her waist.

She turned to look at me before I could get her attention. She smiled softly and there was something so familiarly warm about it.

"Hi," She whispered, moving her arms down and pulling the hem of her shirt down a little. "I set up your bed."

Warmth.

I smiled and nodded, walking towards her, "Thank you, Lia."

Using her name was an addiction. Watching the way she ducks her head and holds back a smile makes it worth it every time.

I moved towards the couch and took a seat, moving my pillow to the side and watching Lia as she busied herself around the room; clicking the TV off, flicking the lights off around the house, and putting a few dishes around the kitchen in the sink. She'd look up and glance at me every few seconds.

Keegan had retreated to his room before I walked into the bathroom, bidding me goodnight. The living room was now dark and the only source of light in the house was from the warm light in the hallway and the kitchen. I watched as Lia dried her hands and walked out of the kitchen, shutting the lights off behind her.

She stood a few feet away from me, running her fingers through her hair and tucking them behind her ears. I watched her.

"You're okay?" She asked, her voice a whisper. "Do you need anything else? Another cover or water or something?"

I shook my head, "No, I'm okay. Thank you, again."

She nodded, but lingered still. I glanced down at my arms that lay between my crossed legs. I fiddled with the band that hung around my wrist. I looked up and watched as she walked over to me, taking a seat across from me.

"Um, I don't know if this is personal or anything, and if it is you can just tell me to stop, but..." she started, crossing her leg underneath her other one. She was so close to me. I could lift my arm and my fingers would touch her lips.

I met her eyes as she asked her question, "I don't know why you're on your own like this and it's none of my business, but... Do you have someone?"

The neutral expression I tried to keep on my face fractured into a million pieces. Her question was like a rope winding around my heart and tightening the muscle until I was sure it would explode. Her eyes which reminded me so much of fall evenings and rain stared at me, waiting to absorb all the words that would come from my lips. Her hands itched to comfort my own fidgeting ones.

Her nurturing nature was one I didn't think I've ever experienced before.

"Have someone?" I whispered back.

She nodded, "Anyone in the world who cares where you are right now. I know what it's like to feel truly alone in this world; I don't know if you also know what that's like but it's... haunting. It tears at you."

After a moment, I nodded, "I know what you mean."

I knew exactly what that was like.

Her soft eyes met mine and she tucked her bottom lip between her teeth, staring at our hands in front of us. She nodded, clearing her throat softly.

We lapsed into silence for a few moments. The only sounds emanating from the dryer and the slow drizzle of rain outside.

She took a breath before nudging her hand with mine. I looked at her and there was something so familiar about her smile, about the way she breathed. I found myself silently begging her to touch my hand once more.

"If you ever need someone, I'll always be here, Cameron." She whispered, offering me a small smile.

It was like I was finally able to breathe.

I nodded, holding back all the words I actually wanted to say. I've been on my own ever since I was 18. Emotionally, I've been on my own since I was 13. I never had a person to be able to feel comfortable around, feel safe around. I never had someone who genuinely cared about my well-being or what I was feeling. For the majority of my life, I've always had a wall up.

Now, I wondered what it would be like to finally let them down.

"Okay," She breathed out, getting up from her seat and looking at me. "Get some sleep."

I watched her walk away and down the hallway to what I assumed was her room. She turned off the hallway lights and disappeared into her room. I settled into the bed and found myself staring at the paint patterns of the ceiling.

My brain wouldn't shut off.

I was basically sleeping in a stranger's house. My apartment was not mine anymore. All the things in my apartment were in storage and would be gone if I didn't retrieve them soon. I still had my jobs, thank God, but would that be enough? How much longer until I can barely feed myself? How long would Lia let me live in her house?

I needed to find a new job as soon as possible and if that meant begging Coach Mullay for an assistant coach position so be it.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ

hey hey, double update!

i hope you guys like this so far. they'll start to build a rhythm and the story will get much nicer before it gets all sad again <3 stay tuned.

I've started watching hometown cha-cha-cha. it's a truly cute show. i love it sm.

i hope you all are doing well and staying healthy. love you all so so much <3 thank you for the reads and comments :)

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