If I Was In Dxd

The last one.

I revive with a flash of dark and light for 5 seconds before seeing the girls.

Me:... Oh hey...
Akeno: Jack?...
Me: yeah...?
Kiba: are you ok?...
Me: the objective says i am.
Casper: objective?
Koneko: he is talking about his orders.

I nod.

Me: i want to die...they wont let me...everyone i cared for is dead but me im permanently fifteen...ain't that a spit in the face?

The gods appear.

Sun wu kong: should be great full.
Me: For what eternal existence? Hell,  they are gonna die before i do. You and most if not all gods for that matter are some fucking degree of A Self Absorbed Egotistical piece of shit on continuous cocaine binge,  im more positive your ass gets jealous by how much shit comes out your mouths.

The gods look at me repulsed by the thing they had made.

Freya: Jack we understand your pain.
Me: Ha...that's rich coming from the torturer herself. You don't get to talk hypocrite. So help me on all of your names i will burn the guts from your bodies one by one. You made this monster called jack but jack isn't yours any longer. Hope the next time we have met its on friendly terms. I will kill your fucking dragons too...

Then of all people Xenovia appears hugging me.

I turn around.

Xenovia: your not a monster nor a demon.
Me: ...
Xenovia: you cant be, there is a kind soul in you.
Me: ...once upon a time there was but they took it from me...speaking of which...im gonna count too ten if the gods dont runaway by then im gonna put them in a fucking blood covered river.

I move xenovia out of the way.

Me: 9...
Sun wu kong: wait...too ten?...
Me: 10...feasting time bitch.

I dash pulling out a rugged long titanium scythe held by shadowy mist for ropes and a long wooden shaft with said scythes blade being made of titanium.

My left eye goes purple in the iris with black all around and the iris in my right follows but changes too a red color.

Me: no this scythe is too good for you.

I pull out two claws like shredders painted Pitch Black with 2 thin lines going down both. On the left it was purple for the left side and vise versa for the right,  same with the red.

I charge slashing all of them except sun wu kong who i stab 56 consecutive times mutilating him. I left freya alive.

Me: hey kids. Close your eyes and walk home.

They hear a zipper get undone and leave

I instead stick a hard long and 14" wide dildo up her ass

She screams as i leave to the others.

In the orc.

Rias: your crazy huh?
Me: sometimes it feels like i got three people instead of 1 rias and all of us understand one language. MURDER.