moon|Jessa (Nessa Barrett and Josh Richards)

two|aftermath

"the aftermath of losing moon was a wreck" Josh started

"mhm...i just blamed myself constantly, i wad alway pissy and get mad at everything" Nessa said

"the aftermath was hell" nessa corrected

"i lash out on you, i would get physical, i would treat everyone i love like shit especially mads. i would call her name while she was just trying to help me" Nessa admitted

"i remember one time she was trying to get you to drink your meds, she dropped it and you started calling her names" Josh recalled

mads dropped nessa's meds and nessa saw it

"Goodness fuck madison!" nessa snapped. indiana looked at nessa in shocked

"you're so fucking useless!"

"Janesa" Josh called

tears streaming down nessa's face as this was her breaking point. mads and Josh know about this

jaden was standing on the side wanting to yell at nessa but also knowing he can't because this is the unspoken side of the aftermath of a miscarriage

"im sorry, ness. i didn't mean to do it" Mads said lowly

"You're useless! no one likes you mads! fuck you!" nessa yelled not even knowing what she's yelling for and not even knowing the words she said

"nessa please stop it. you're hurting mads's feeling" Josh stood up for mads as he held nessa in his arms

"i don't care! its true! no one likes her!no one wants her here!"

mads snapped and ran out of the house with indiana following behind

"She's treating you like shit and you don't care?? your boyfriend don't even care!" Indi yelled at mads

"You don't understand,indi. you don't understand" Mads sobbed

"yeah..." nessa said as silence followed after

"i didn't mean to...she knew i was having a silent split thats why she was getting me to drink meds but i just snapped"

"she always know her ways around your bpd... she knows when youre splitting or when youre having an episode" Josh smiled

"well, it's mads. she was my best friend before. all we had was each other for a long time. then i ruin it all"

"you didn't ruin anything...the aftermath too was a point where we started falling out" Josh said

"it was when you started developing something more that BPD and depression in which Jaden called and identified as a 'postpartum depression' "

"i really wished i was helping you that time, instead of partying and putting all my time and effort in social media. i left you in the house for longer that 78 hours and all you have a jaden and mads" Josh said more

"i was dealing with her death so differently because thats how i deal with everything, i didn't realize you were hurting too. i thought you were okay then you were not"

"i do not blame you or jaden for getting in a relationship because i can tell he treated you more than i can. her treated you so much better. you were so much happier with him" Jos said with sad eyes

"You know, my brain still recognize you as my First favorite person. my brain always have that i loved him but i will always love you more type of mindset" Nessa said as Josh's smile lit up