moon|Jessa (Nessa Barrett and Josh Richards)

one| Where did it went wrong?

Closure podcast episode 14|Nessa Barrett and Josh Richards #Jessa

Hi I'm nessa"
"hey, I'm Josh"

:where did it started going down?

"I.... i think when we lost moon" Josh said in a low tone voice

nessa snapped her head in shock and tears threatening her eyes

"I- im sorry for losing her" Nessa cried

"no no no. no nessa. its not your fault"Josh tried to comfort the girl and grab her hand

"No..no Josh. it was mine. i should have taken care of my body more"

"i did this to her" nessa cried

"no nessa please" Josh approached

"you were too stressed and i wasn't there to comfort you and take care of you" Josh admitted

"no.you can't convince me that it isn't my fault. we were so far long,Josh, we already found out her gender then i lost her" Nessa sobbed harder

"nessa please, its not your fault. it was an accident" josh repeated

"we already planned on her name, and was already buying things like clothes and bottles and the house knew about it already and we were planning on moving in then i lost her on that day in july" Nessa sobbed as she remember the detail about thier little girl who never got the chance to see the world

"ness think of the good side, Cooper's taking care of her up there. she's safe with cooper and god" Josh tried to comfort

"She would have been 3 years old by now" Nessa sobbed harder

"oh my, baby" Josh slipped

"she would have seen her mama on stage" Nessa smile bitterly

"i would have been taking care of her while you were on tour" Josh smile at the moment as he imagined that happening

nessa calmed down and talk again

"none of this would have happened if she got the chance to meet us" Nessa said in a sad tone of voice

"You would have been such a good mom" Josh admitted as he smiles looking at nessa

nessa looked at him in the eye and said "you would have been a good dad, just spoiling her with everything and anything" She smiles as she got lost in his eyes for a second

"i....i wish we can go back" Josh said

"me too... just...meet one another again"

"then build the family we was supposed to have"

"Her name is Moon Jalia Barrett Richards, moon is from mads. it was a reference to mads cause she love professor lupin and his nickname is moony and we also planned on nicknaming her moony" Josh explained as a bitter sweet smile plastered on his face

"She was supposed to be in our arms by December 2020, we hoped it'll be the 24th to match up with mads but we didn't even get to that close cause i miscarried her in July 16th 2020" Nessa explained too

josh: "The stress from the drama caused this. it was no one's fault. no one wanted it to happen"

"i blame myself and those who stresses the fuck out of me in that house. the fights with kio and Michel gruen was one of them. i hated him cause that day i lost her, kio and michel was making fun of me because they we're the only one who didn't know so they went on calling me fat and ugly and it caused me not to eat the whole day and then later that night....." Nessa got silent for a second

"I called you cause you were out there vlogging"

"she was gone" Nessa said as a tear dropped out of her emerald eyes

josh please answer

nessa mumbled

"Joshua" nessa cried as blood was spilling out of her womanhood indicating she lost moon

"baby? what happened? why are you crying?" Josh said panicked

"Im losing her! im bleeding,josh! i- i don't know" Nessa said

"im on my way" Josh ended the call and ran back to his car. ignoring everyone

nessa walked out of thier room, blood dripping drom her legs and a sharp pain in her lower abdomen

"nessa?!" Jaden called as he saw her walking down the halls

"i- i need josh" nessa said as calmly as she can

"you....you lost moon" Jaden said in shock

"I'll get you to the hospital"

Jaden picked her up and got her strapped in. he called josh and told him to go to the hospital

when they arrived, the look on the doctors face said it all.

"im sorry for your lost " was all the doctor said.

josh burst in the room and held nessa

"I lost her, Josh. im sorry"
nessa sobbed

"its not your fault,baby. its not your fault" Josh kissed her forehead as guilt wrapped around him.

he wasn't there when she lost moon, he wasn't there to comfort and protect her. he wasn't there to hold her to make her feel safe. he's such an asshole for that