hope ; kaveh √

002

on that same day , kaveh was waiting for you outside of your class , leaning against the wall as the many students walked out .

as class was over , you carried your bag . you walked out of the classroom after everyone else had gone out . you let out a relieved sigh , finally being able to go home after what felt like so long , but your relief was interrupted by a certain someone .

as you opened your eyes , turning to the wall , you noticed that same boy from the cafeteria .

“ gah !! what the fuck !? ” you shouted at him , dropping the bag that you carried on your back . you were furious , as you picked up your bag , staring at him with furrowed eyebrows .

“ oh . it's you . ” you stare at him , you looked so dull .

“ yeahh , it's me again . ” he says as he stops leaning against the wall . he was now standing in front of you .

“ don't waste my time . ” you said , as you pushed him away , purposely bumping into his shoulder .

“ why ? why are you like this ? you're so cold and distant . ” he said , still so confused about why you were acting like this .

you stopped in your tracks , thinking ..

‘ not again .. why is this person so determined to talk to me ? why can't he just leave me alone ? i have closed my heart up for the longest years , there's no way i’ll open up to this guy i just met !? ’

“ it's much better than being nice and naive . ” you scowled .

he was shocked by your words , but he knew exactly what he had to say .

“ why don't we sit down , and chat about this ? ” kaveh could feel the pain you've been through , he was trying his best to help you . without waiting for your answer , he dragged you to a nearby bench , sitting you down , then he sits next to you .

you lower your head , as both your hands were on your lap . you wanted to leave , but for some reason , you couldn't .

“there's a difference between being nice and being weak. besides... what's wrong with being nice? the world is a cruel place, and being kind can go a long way to make it... less so. ” kaveh continued to talk , as he looked at you . he notices that you didn't want to look at him , you didn't want to face him .

you did not want to reply to that statement , but you talked . you responded .

“ yeah right . like you said , the world is a cruel place . so with me being nice , I'd just be getting used by the many people of this world . ” you said , sitting further away from him .

“ so you want to beat them at their own game? by being the cruel one? ” he asked , just to make sure .

“ don't you lump me with those stupid people . you misunderstand. I'm not being cruel .. just rather cold and distant . ” you shouted at him . sounds like he just hit a nerve .

“ so you've... closed your heart? to protect yourself? ...don't you find such a thing... lonely? ” he continued to ask you many questions , you were starting to get annoyed . he noticed that you could feel emotions , everything but happiness . you were too damaged by the past that you acted this way .

“ so what ? i’m doing fine being lonely . i’ve lived like this for a couple of years now , and i’m still doing great . ” you shot him a glare and he turned away .

“i could never live like that... even if it hurts, i have to allow my heart to feel... because for me, being alive means to feel! the happy, the sad, and everything in-between! if i simply shut myself off... if i became cold and unfeeling... then what's the point in living? what kind of a life would that be? ” kaveh explained , he wanted to try to make you realize that you could find a friend in him , he wanted you to open up . he wanted you to trust him . he wanted you to find hope in him .

“ i used to think that way , okay ? it didn't work out well . can i leave now ? i don't want anything to do with you . ” you said . kaveh could feel a sharp pain in his heart as he heard those words , but he shook it off , still trying to get you to listen to him .

“then... can you even remember what it felt like to feel? the warmth, the tingly sensation that comes from joy? the sharp pain that comes from... sadness? grief? despair? can you still remember what it feels like to be alive? what it feels like to love, and to be loved? ” he said , clenching onto his chest , trying to stop the pain he felt from your harsh words .

“ i’m starting to forget . ” your responses were just getting shorter and shorter . kaveh took a small breath as he continued to push you , trying to get the words out of your mouth .

“what a shame. is this what you wanted? or is it simply easier this way? to never... give yourself... fully. to never let yourself feel the fullest range of emotions that life can offer? to never feel the pain of heartbreak, or the joy of success. to never be able to love or be loved... because love means the willingness to open your heart, to allow it to feel, to suffer, to be hurt but... also to live?” you could feel his aura changing after saying those words , you were getting terrified on how he's calling you out .

“ cut it out .. just stop it . ” you stood up from the bench , storming off .

kaveh placed two fingers on his chin in a thinking manner , smirking .

‘ i know what you're hiding now .. ’ he thought to himself as he stood up , walking away from the scene as well .