restart// 5SOS

5

Alyssa

"Ow you're hurting me,"

"Sorry,"

"It's because you're a doctor,"

"It's because your hair is very tangled," he said, "I'm getting there, I like your drawing,"

"I keep messing up because my head moves,"

"I am sorry,"

"Ow,"

I knew I was being defensive and sharp, but I couldn't help it. I was freaking out.

This was my new home for however many weeks, and it had only just dawned on me. Ashton was literally a stranger that someone out there had decided was safe enough for me to live with. What if he was some secret murderer? Or he hurt me? Or he didn't like me anymore? He had power over me. He could send me back, and say it wasn't working, after the tiniest thing.

And he liked talking. He tried to talk all day and I didn't. I didn't wanna talk all day. I was miserable. I really was.

When we had unpacked my stuff he had put it all in the wash, and had one of his friends bring me fresh pyjamas. My stuff wasn't even dirty. Now it would smell like his house.

What if I wasn't cut out for a family? I'd not had a parent as long as I could remember, it was just my cousins, and I was so grateful they took us in and took care of us, and even sent us to school, but they weren't like parents. I couldn't talk to them, they didn't rub my knee better if I hurt it, they didn't care about report cards or outfits or teaching me life lessons.

Maybe I wasn't meant to have parents.

"Sorry, I can stop for a bit,"

"What?"

"I made you cry,"

"I made me cry," I said, wiping my tears with my sleeve, "Just carry on,"

"Wanna talk about it?"

"Nope,"

"Fair enough,"

"Sorry I was harsh earlier,"

"It's an emotional time, you're doing your best. When you wanna talk I will be here, I understand that we hardly know each other,"

"I don't know how to have a parent," I mumbled, "Or be someones kid,"

"You just have to be yourself and let me do all the hard work,"

"Can we have a break? My back hurts,"

He let go of my hair and I stretched my neck, wincing as I straightened my back. It was still sore sometimes from the accident, they said it would probably hurt forever, which sucked I guess. Wasn't anything different to how life generally treated me generally.

My burns were bad so they had given me a skin graft on my leg which was healing okay but I was insecure about it. The rest of the burns had healed okay. My body had scars all over, but the main one was on my head that the idiot student messed up. Suddenly I felt very insecure.

"Are you okay?"

"No,"

"It's been a long day," he said, gently squeezing my good shoulder, "I'll try and get this done quickly, you can lay down if you want,"

I took him up on his offer, and laid down on the sofa (we had been doing it in the living room so I could watch tv). When I laid down, I realised how tired I really was; if he hadn't been tugging my hair, I would've fallen asleep.

When he finally got it all unmatted, he tied it into a single brain with the bobble I had before. It felt much better, though I did really want to wash all the product out as soon as I got energy.