just one more sip. | style fanfiction | stan & kyle

CHAPTER 3 - DRUNKEN REVELATIONS

It's been a week. A week of Stan avoiding school, avoiding Wendy, avoiding everyone. He couldn't bring himself to face them, to face the reality of what he was feeling. The sickly feeling of confusion and longing for Kyle was still there, gnawing at his insides. He didn't even know what it meant, this feeling. Was he gay? Bi? He didn't want to put a label on it, but he couldn't deny that it was there, a storm raging inside him.

Stan glanced at his phone, the constant stream of messages and missed calls from Wendy. He knew he had to face her eventually, but he was afraid. Afraid he would mess it all up, ruin what they had. He couldn't bear to see the hurt in her eyes if he told her the truth.

The other day, in a moment of desperation, he had messaged Kenny, pouring out his heart. "I hate myself so much, Kenny. I just want to die. I think I might." He knew it was selfish to burden his friend with his problems, but he couldn't keep it all inside anymore. He needed someone to know how he felt, even if he couldn't bring himself to tell Kyle.

But Kyle was always on his mind. The way his eyes sparkled when he laughed, the way his curly ginger hair fell across his forehead, the way his touch sent shivers down Stan's spine. It was all too much for him to handle.

Stan walked downstairs, trying not to make a sound. He poured himself a glass of pure vodka and savored the burning sensation as it went down his throat. It was the only thing that made him feel alive, made him forget, even for a moment, about the storm inside him.

He felt overwhelmed and depressed, like he was drowning in his own emotions. It seemed like the only person he cared about didn't care back. But that wasn't the case. Kyle cared, he just didn't know how to show it. And that only made Stan's heart ache even more.

As Stan took a sip of his vodka, the repetitive knock on the door jolted him from his numbed state. "What the hell? Who's outside my house at 2:30 am?" Stan muttered to himself, annoyed at the possibility of waking up his parents. He stumbled a little as he got up from his seat, feeling the effects of the alcohol. He opened the door to find Kyle standing there, drenched in rainwater with his hair flat against his head.

Kyle's expression was a mix of anger and concern as he barged in and got up close to Stan, pointing a finger at his chest. "Stan, what the hell?!" Kyle yelled, tears streaming down his face. "I was worried sick about you! You can't just tell Kenny you want to die and then leave him on 'delivered' for 5 days!" His voice cracked as he choked on his words. "I thought you died, Stan!" Kyle cried, his anger melting into anguish.

Stan stood there, caught off guard by Kyle's outburst. Tears started to stream down his own face as guilt and selfishness washed over him. He couldn't bear to see Kyle in pain, especially knowing that he was the cause of it. He tried to speak, but the words got stuck in his throat, choked with emotion.

Kyle's tears softened as he looked at Stan, his anger giving way to heartbreak. "Why, Stan? Why would you say something like that and then just disappear?" he asked, his voice trembling. "I care about you, damn it! And it kills me to see you like this."

Stan couldn't find the words to explain, the turmoil inside him too overwhelming. He wanted to tell Kyle everything, to pour out his feelings and the confusion that had been consuming him. But he was afraid. Afraid of ruining their friendship, afraid of facing his own truth, and afraid of the consequences.

Kyle reached out, his hand brushing against Stan's cheek, wiping away the tears. "You're not alone, Stan," he said softly, his eyes filled with compassion. "I may not understand everything, but I'm here for you. You don't have to go through this alone."

Stan looked into Kyle's eyes, seeing the sincerity and love reflected in them. He realized that Kyle cared, and it gave him a glimmer of hope amidst the darkness that had enveloped him.