Heartbeat (Im Nayeon X Male Reader)

Australia

Perspective: Gahyeon

"Would you stop playing around? It's five in the morning."
(Y/n) turns around and looks at me.
"I just started."
He focuses back on the game and I let myself fall onto the couch.
"You woke me up, you know."
"Sorry."
I roll my eyes at him, knowing that he is too busy with his game to pay attention.
"You are racing all the time. Why do you have to play it on our TV, too?"
He pauses the game once more before getting himself something to drink. I look after him, still waiting for his answer.
When he comes back, he gives me a playful flick to my forehead.
"Yah!"
I glare at him, realizing that I probably just woke up all my unnies.
"You can train easily."
He sits back in front of the couch, into this racing thing he hooked up to our tv while he is staying here.
"You can dance and sing wherever and whenever you want."
He shrugs his shoulders, before resuming the game.
"I don't."
I watch him drive again. Staying quiet for a while, I know that he is concentrating and I don't want to disturb him.
I don't know which circuit it is, but during some parts, it looks really fast.
When (y/n) takes a corner, he makes contact with another car, making it spin into the wall.
"Did you do that on purpose?"
I see him loosening up a little, as the notification for a red flag is shown.
"No. But Russel had it coming."
Glancing at him, I try to find a clue about how he feels.
I'm not an idiot. I know how the last races went, but (y/n) isn't that kind of person to talk about his feelings. He is usually straight to the point, but he hides his emotions really well.
Growing up with him makes it easier to know what to look for. But even now I still can't be sure sometimes. Just like right now.
(Y/n) looks calm. He always does. But I wonder if he really did hit the Mercedes on purpose.
It took him a while to set all of this up in our dorm and he has been practicing the whole time, since he has been here.
Of course I get that he has to practice. But like this? Hours and hours without a break?
I'm sure that he is feeling bad for the last races. And that he is determined to score a lot of points next week. But he shouldn't put so much pressure on himself.
"Good morning!"
Turning around, I see Bora unnie coming out of the bathroom. She sits next to me on the couch, watching (y/n) as the race restarts.
This time, I don't look at the screen, but at my brother's face. I always wanted to know how he feels while he drives. But on TV, with his helmet on, I can't see his face. Now I can.
He looks like he is really enjoying it. When he drives, it just looks like he is having fun. Not like he is practicing.
Once the race is over, SuA unnie leaves the couch and pushes (y/n) out of the way.
"I wanna try, too."
While I watch (y/n) explaining to Bora how to use his race thing, I think about the next race. I wonder if he will be able to do a great job.
Of course I know he is a great driver. Otherwise he wouldn't be in this sport. But sometimes the car doesn't do the things it should, the other drivers can become a problem too.
And (y/n) makes a mistake once in a while as well. I know he hates to admit it. But it's true.
"Just floor the throttle until you hit something."
His joke makes SuA laugh and I see (y/n) smiling at her.
Over the years, I realized that there are only a couple of things which make my brother smile or even laugh.
It's only racing, Nayeon and me, Yoohyeon's smile and SuA's laugh.
I know that he has been through a lot, but I wish he would smiling more. Although he is living the dream, I feel like there is always some sort of sadness around him.
I want him to be happy as much as possible. And it seems like Nayeon is helping a lot.

Perspective: (y/n)

"(Y/n)? (Y/n), are you alright?"
I groan, as I move my neck.
"What the heck?"
"It looks like one of the Alpines hit you."
"Yeah. I felt that."
Closing my eyes in disbelief, I can't understand why this is happening to me again. Three races. Three races in a row I didn't score points. I didn't even finish.
I feel the frustration growing in me, as I undo the steering wheel and then my belt.
"I'm sorry, (y/n). But we still have a lot of races to go. So don't worry. You will make it eventually."
I don't answer, as I climb out of my car.
I don't want to make it eventually. I want to win. The sooner the better. Just like everyone else.
Pulling my helmet off, I walk past the two Alpines behind me. Looks like Gasley and Ocon made contact, before Gasley hit me.

"Are you sure you don't wanna come home?"
"No."
I hear my older sister sigh on the other side of the line.
"Alright. As long as you are doing fine. Take care."
"You too."
I hang up the phone, before I walk out of my apartment.
It's three in the morning. Mike is still sleeping. Everyone is still sleeping.
After the race in Australia, I realized that I have to get a hold of myself. I can't keep going like this. I can't keep losing.
As I start my morning run, I let the cold air ruffle my hair. I never expected to live in Italy. But I do start to enjoy the little amount of time I spend here.
Although I miss hanging out with Nayeon, it's still good for me to not have any distractions.
Because she is on tour and I'm away as well, we can't spend as much time together as we would like. That's why we usually call each other, sometimes even doing a video call. But during the last days, I was unable to call her, or reply to her messages.
I feel like a failure and I don't want to trouble Nayeon with my problems or my sour mood. I have to focus on the next races. I have to make sure that I don't have to retire again. I want to win.
Although it is pretty unlikely with a car like mine, I still try my best. I'm hoping, that if I do my job well enough, I might be able to drive for Red Bull, or another bigger team.
But either way, I have to improve. And I'm confident, that I will be able to show the world who I am, the next time I sit in my car.