Kuch kahena tha

Prologue

This story is about an introvert girl. Who is the elder daughter of the family. She is insane but sane, immature but mature, emotionless but emotional. She has seen so many things from her childhood and that affected her mind very badly. She just wants love from each and every person she has. She felt ignored, she felt rejected, she felt looser, she felt demotivated throughout her childhood. She is disappointed with her parents also.

She was 3 years old when her sister was born. And then she started to be jealous of her own sister. Because, her parents and grandparents love was divided between the two. She was jealous but she never showed it to anyone. All thought she is happy.

Like this her childhood was not so good. It is full of overthinking , sadness, disappointment etc. She did not get any mental support from her family. Her grandfather loved her a lot and vice versa. But when she was in standard 1, she lost him. She did not cry then but this incident was in her which was not so good. But no body noticed it. Her family was busy to earn and give both the sisters good life, good education which is good. But if they would have once concentrated on her mental health, then she would have been in peace. After 6 years of her grandfather demise, she lost her grandmother also. Then she cried her heart out. But till then jo affect padhna tha uske dimag mein wo pad chuka tha.

She started believing, her parents don't love her. She was an average student. She doesn't score good in education. She is not good in anything. Neither she was interested in dance, nor in singing. She doesn't even like drawing, swimming, playing. She did not have much friends. She had only one friend in school whom her parents did not like. Her parents thought she is not good at anything because of her friend. And they always told her to stay away from her friend. She sometimes took stand for her friend but again she fall weak. Her parents never motivated her in anything.

Her mom was always upset with her for not scoring good in education. Her father said : tujhse kuch nahi ho payega.

She scored less in 10th standard. But then in 11th standard she got a sweet friend who was goid at study. And she also tried to study hard to impress her that friend because uske dimag mein itne saalo se ghus chuka hai ki agar wo padhai nahi karegi to usse koi pyaar nahi karega. She did not want to lose her new friend. So she studied hard and got good number at 12th standard. But after that , her friend stopped talking to her because she got more marks than her friend.
She felt devastated. Somehow she made herself strong.

Then she went college. She was doing good not great but she was feeling lively after starting college. She started falling for one person in college but he considered her as a good friend only. Neither she was at fault nor he. He shared everything with her thinking as a good friend. But she took it in other way. He cared about her as a good friend but she took it as love.

She scared to confess her feeling towards him. Meanwhile her cousin sister and friends got to know her feeling towards him. Her good friends tried to make her understand that he doesn't live him it's just friendship from his end. But she was not listening to them. Her friends and sisters were helpless because she was not listening to anyone. She acted like a obsessed lover. She arranged every notes for him, helped him in assignment. She even got admitted to the courses which he was learning.

One day she got to know somehow that her sister and friend have told him about her feeling. He already was aware of it but shrugged it off. Now that she knows that he knows about her feeling, she started making distance from him. At that point of time, she was distancing herself from everybody. She started going into her shell again.

And after some day she got to know he is in relationship with their junior. That really shook her to the core.