𝑬𝒏𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒅

Chapter 2

Ever since Sophie's been here, everything's different, and I'm not sure I like it. Joe acts all weird, and Abi and I don't seem to have one moment for us, because she's always popping around. Anyway, she says she has to go away soon, because her daddy's firm, or whatever, is re-opening soon, so she has to be there. She says she'll work a little for him while she's figuring out what she wants to do. I really hope it's not gonna be something that has to do with clothes, because it seems that she can only wear one color: orange. Orange is a very pretty color, one that I love, but only that? Everyday? You don't have a sock that is in a different color?

Also, I've been thinking about that strange feeling I had about Joe after the first night, and of course it only got worse, after I've seen them having a full make out session in Joe's kitchen. I don't know why I've felt that way. I've never been one to be jealous of her friends. And surely not of Joe. Come on, Joe is grown guy, with a mind made up about the world and about what he wants to do, and he surely can decide who to date without asking my opinion about it. But maybe that's really it. Maybe what I'm feeling isn't jealousy, it's just that I don't understand why a person like him should date someone like her. It's that, I'm sure.

Or maybe it's because, even though they're so different, things between them go well. Recently, Brandon and I aren't doing so well. He's just very driven about our future, and if I have to be honest, in ten years I don't see myself married to him with kids; but maybe he does. And also he doesn't know about my book, nobody knows much about it really, because I don't really feel comfortable telling people that. But maybe if he knew he'd understand more. I'm really alone on this.

I really hope we can work it out. Because he's almost the only constant thing in my life since June, everything changes. My body still feels like right now I should be getting ready for school, but I'm not. I'm sitting here in an empty cafe, waiting for my break to be over. I'm almost nineteen and I still don't know what I want to do with my life. Wait, yes I do, but it's really just a shot in the dark, of course I want to be one of New York Times' best selling artists, but if I don't find the nerve to get that thing that i'm writing out of my room, it's not gonna happen soon.

Suddenly, I feel a wave of hopefulness rushing through my veins and I realise that I keep saying that there's no such thing as "destiny", and that if you want something you have to get up and make that happen, but all this time I've been sitting around waiting for a miracle. I get up and I take off my apron, my break won't be over 'til half an hour, and that's when the cafe opens, so I'm safe.

Ten minutes later I'm standing in front of our University, and I'm scared to death. I take a deep breath and I walk to the secretary. I ask about a course that I've heard about, Abi said it teaches you how to write and stuff, I wanna do that. She says that the semester has already started, so it'd be a little hard to get me in, but then she gives me form and she says to go home, talk to my parents, fill that out and to come back tomorrow with part of the fee for this year, and if it's done by tomorrow, I'll have a chance to be in the course.

Now the only problem is to convince my parents. I take my phone out and I sit down on the front steps and I call Austin.

"Hey Austin" I say when he picks up.

"Hey sis, sup?" he sounds tired, and it's just 3.20 in the afternoon.

"Listen, um, I need a favor"

"Big news" he says laughing.

"No Austin, I'm serious, I think I've gotten myself into something big. You know my book? I can't just sit around waiting for me to magically start writing better, and there is this course here at university, and I thought..."

"To try to apply. It's hard to get in, you know?"

"Yes I do, I have to take an exam, but it's all written here in the form, I know I should've applied earlier, but please, please, please Austin, I really need your help with mom and dad. They already weren't that happy about me working in a cafe and not studying, what will they say now that I'll tell them that I want to apply a month and half after the beginning of semester?" I'm practically almost crying at this point, I didn't think this through at all.

"First, calm down. Second, I don't know where your brain was at that moment, but it's fine, I'll take care of it with them. You're working late, right?"

"Yeah, I think I'll be home by ten, or something like that"

"Ok, but I'll have to explain them the whole book thing, you know"

"Ok, just do whatever you want, Austin, you're their favourite, try to make them listen to you" I'm so desperate at this point that he can do whatever he wants, just to get them to say yes. The only problem is the money. I mean, I'm sure we have them, but maybe they'll say that they don't want to pay or something, or I don't know, I'm just so scared. But I'm glad I acted up. Now, back to work.

When I get back, it's past ten, and it's very late, and I'm expecting everyone to be asleep, but I'm wrong. Everybody's waiting for me very silently in the kitchen and I feel my stomach drop when I see them.

"Taylor" my father starts "your brother told us about your book, and also about your job, and also about the fact that you want to apply to the State University. I must tell you that I'm very surprised, and not in a bad way. I never thought you would want to become a writer, even though you straight A's in English should've given that away, and I'm also glad that you wanna start studying again, to make the whole writing thing better. Now, your mom and I are willing to pay whatever needs to be paid and to sign everything, just explain to us the way it's going to be"

I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding, and a smile creeps up in my face. I'm so thankful for the fact that they're happy and not mad, and that they're going to stand with me on this! We spend the rest of the night just reading forms and filling out the blank spaces with names, and my past grades, and just a bunch of stuff. Then my parents write a check with half of the fee on it, which is the final and definitive detail, the one that makes it all real and true and possible. I'm so happy that my chest hurts.

But the one thing that feels wrong is that when I'm lying in my bed after we've done everything, I don't have anyone to call. Sel is still in Europe, and I still haven't figured out a way to call her or text her. Abi's on a date, lucky her, and really they're just the only two not to blame. Since Sophie's been here Joe and I barely got any chances to talk, so I think that calling him right now, with all the possibilities that he's up doing something, even dirty, with Sophie, would be highly inappropriate. Then I remember that I have a boyfriend, that I should feel free to call anytime, and that I should be able to tell him everything, without feeling ashamed of my passions and dreams, but I just don't seem to be able to pick up the phone and press on his name, next to which lies a red heart. I really should be able to call somebody, I should have someone to call. I can't blame Sel or Abi, they've been here for me to call my whole life, or even Joe, he has a girlfriend it's ok if he's busy. But in the movie the boyfriend is always that person you can rely on, and you can call, and you can confide in. Guess my life's not a movie.