Tommy Angst ig

Chapter 1

Tommy had a blank expression plastered onto his face. He had turned on the shower ages ago yet it felt like the hot water had just hit his body. It's been a month since he had moved into Technos and it hasn't been easy to deal with all the unloaded trauma. He can still feel dream phantom touch all over his body. He had been punched, kicked, slapped, cut, everything. All kinds of abuse. The numbness from the heat spread from his legs to his torso as he laid down. Dream had taken something from him. Something that wasn't his. And Tommy wanted it back. He sighs and stands up. He can't waste anything anymore. He had taken everything from Techno, why not leave hot water as a nice gesture? He carefully ran his hands through his 75% blonde and 25% white hair. He never knew he would miss Dream. He misses his constant attention. He misses his punishment when he would do something wrong. He misses his abuser. He misses the person that hurt him most. Not even with a reason. Not a single thought before he punched him, kicked him, touched him. That was their secret. Techno and Phil can not know.

Tommy walks out, putting his blue cardigan on. He walks to the main room and sees a note. ‘Hey Tommy, me and Techno are going to be out for a while. Don't mess up the house. -Phil’
Tommy had been used to seeing these. He has gotten used to seeing all this worthless paper from phil. He regrets coming here. They didn't even want him there. Phil always talks about how much of a ruckus he is. Techno just seems to want him out. But he needs to stay away from Dream. But we loveeee Dream!. No we don't. He's a terrible person. Tommy plops down onto the couch, staring at the ceiling once more. Tommy always wonders what it would be if this were to be a dream. Not a dream, but a terrible nightmare he can't wake up from. Tommy imagines what would have happened if everything weren’t to have happened. If he weren't to have happened. Wilbur could be alive, techno would be happy, phil would have one less thorn stuck into his skin. Maybe he should have jumped. The world is a painful place and he had to learn that the hard way. 

He gets up and goes to technos chests. He finds dark blue powder that for once, isn't ghostburs. He goes to the bathroom and takes his hair out of the small ponytail he normally wears. His hair goes slightly past his collarbone. He grabs some shampoo and conditioner and mixes them together. He pours the blue powder into the mix and mixes it again. He scoops some into his hand and splats the hair dye onto his head. Tears pool in his eyes as he sees the blonde and white fade away into the dark blue abyss Tommy can imagine to be the ocean. He soon enough puts all of it in his hair and hits the ground. Tears start rolling down his face. Why was he a child of phil? Why am I so useless? He curls into a ball and zones out to his thoughts. He never thought he would get out of that hell on earth. Now that I'm out, my own family won't help me? What did I do to deserve this? Everything. I am so useless and cause problems to my own friends and family. His fingers go numb as he starts breathing heavily. He can feel his heart pumping more blood as he quickly gets up. He takes deep breaths as his heart rate slows down to its normal speed. He looks in the mirror and sees the hair dye still sitting, darkening more than Tommy intended it to. Tomy quickly washes it out and drys his hair. When he looks in the mirror he sees that his hair is a beautiful blue. But that same exact fucking white bit of hair is sky blue. Tears form in his eyes again.

“No no no… DONT BE FUCKING LIGHT!” Tommy screams as tears fall down his scarred cheeks. “No.. NO!” he yells as he punches the mirror. Shards of glass go flying across the bathroom and he falls to his knees sobbing. He glances at one of the shards with blurry vision. He grabs it, pulls off the cardigan, and forces the shard into his upper arm. He sobs harder at the pain. He lets go, sobbing harder at the realization that he didn't want to do that.

“Phil please it hurts.. Phil..  Techno.. Please… Dad please.” he says, his pleas sounding more desperate. Blood starts gushing out of his arm as he grabs it and pulls it out in a panic. He starts shaking as his vision gets blurry. “Dad.. I'm scared. please come rescue me..” he manages to push out as his body starts numbing. It felt as if he was drowning but he knew he wasn't. He starts gasping for air as he claws at his lungs. He hears his heart beat pounding in his ears. His vision fades into an inescapable darkness..