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Absence. Your absence made me feel and realise so many more things than your presence did.
When I'm walking alone in the hope to enjoy the evening breeze all I could think about was you not existing in my life anymore. And suddenly the view before me was our past where I smiled carelessly talking to you while walking home. I didn't realise I was home at that very moment. You were my home and you still are. When I am done with my studies I've felt the greatest yearning for your words. The words that was my comfort. Words that made me feel like home that no hug ever could. I gave my exams knowing you won't be there to tell me you are proud of me anymore. Whenever something happens and I'm a little bit happy my smile instantly drops realising I won't be calling you to tell you what happened. You are not there to happily read my countless messages anymore. You are not there anymore. When I'm in pain all I longed for was your voice. Even just a text from you. Maybe not comfort maybe your anger was visible I still needed to know atleast I'm talking to you. Sometimes I feel obsessive sometimes pathetic. You left from my life but your existence in my memory is still so fresh. After you left everything was about you. Every small thing about my life reminded me of us. Every moment in my life I was reminded i couldn't keep you to myself anymore. I couldn't be the person who was with you all the time. Now that you're not here all I can think about is you. Your presence may have kept me happy and relieved knowing you exist but your absence made me realise the heights i can climb just to have you back. Now everytime I look at myself i can see myself sitting at the end of my bed with pain all over my body that screamed your name. The name that still comes out of my mouth daily. The name will never leave my mind when I think of love.
