Long road to go

Facing things that could be

Stephanie

My eyes join the handsome man standing next to Lucas, my fiancé. Yes, I caught the playboy I had a fling with in high school all to myself. Even though we lost each other in time. When we both moved to different cities, but often kept in touch by phone. I later finally came to New York to become the writer I dreamed of when I was a child. When the opportunity came to do my dream job, I took it with both hands and began my work at the New York Times!

"Hello sweetheart," Lucas says as he comes up beside me and gives me a kiss on my cheek, making my cheeks turn red with his warmth. A warmth that always creeps into my body when he kisses me. "Do you remember Hunter?" asks Lucas as my gaze falls on the man next to him. My mouth almost falls open. When I look at the handsome man with his long straight stance as if he were built of stone. He definitely looked more handsome than when we were teenagers, he looks even more muscular than Lucas, who has been training like a maniac for years. How he got so lucky I don't know, but I don't want to stay here to get close to him. Not that I feel anything for this handsome man I haven't seen in years, but something is rumbling inside me that reminds me of a time that wasn't supposed to be ours.

"I'm thirsty, Lucas, I'm going to get some champagne. Nice to meet you, Hunter." I almost walk away, but before I can escape, Lucas takes my hand. "Honey, don't you remember Hunter from school?" asks Lucas, even though he knows how uncomfortable I feel with him. "No," I say, even though my head is screaming. That I'm still the dumb teenage girl and haven't learned anything. I certainly can't let him know that he can still control me. "Honey, you had a crush on him, didn't you?" says Lucas with a smile like he's playing this all out. "Hello Stephanie, nice to see you again," Hunter says with a timbre that gives me goosebumps. It reminds me back to that fun time we had at the dinner. How everything could have gone differently if events between us hadn't happened.

Hunter's face which is still covered by the mask made an expression I can't read. It makes my throat get even drier. "A crush, seriously?" asks Hunter in a teasing voice, making his timbre go through me even more, melting away my wall. I am in love with Lucas. Lucas was there for me when my world collapsed. "Lucas is wrong, I don't know any, Hunter."

Now I was really leaving before they could catch me in their conversation again. Which made my empty stomach feel full because of the emotions all over me, "what is it?" asks Lucas as he comes to stand next to me. I empty the glass in my hand in one gulp before turning to Lucas. "Lucas, I just want to go home, I'm tired." Lucas laughed with that melodic tune that made me crumble, so I forgot all about that encounter just now. "Sorry, Lucas, I ruined your evening. Can I make it up to you," I say in my most seductive tone, to which Lucas immediately knows what I mean. He could hardly be out soon enough, now that he knew we would be doing more than sleeping tonight. "Honey, slowly, please," I say with a smile that came so naturally across my lips that only he could see it. 

At his apartment a few blocks from the party, we take off our clothes and spend the night together in the bedroom, without sleep of course. When I woke up the next morning, I felt an excitement I hadn't felt the days before. My departure from my hometown I expected to be completely different from being enchanted again by the man who broke more than my heart. When I still lived at home in my hometown, everything went naturally, differently than now. In this city, I almost feel I have to hide, he could be anywhere. They say the city is big, but is it so big that I could avoid this man?

"You're already awake." I hear Lucas say as he kisses my neck. Lucas kissing the naked shoulder where my robe just slid off almost made me go back into the bedroom. "I need some air. That's why I'm going to run and take a shower before I go to work." Lucas sighs as he takes in my rejection. Not that I don't want to, but my head keeps thinking of other things than I should be thinking.

"Honey, stay with me, in our bed, making love." I laugh as I push his hands off my hips and walk to the bedroom to get my tracksuit from my bag. The clothes hugged my body as I step into the elevator to leave the building. Across from Lucas' building, I entered the park where I finally feel free as I run as fast as my feet can carry me.

In the middle of the park, I stop and look at the lake, at a few ducks being fed by children. My smile takes over my face almost immediately until I hear a voice next to me. "It's beautiful weather, isn't it?" I look beside me, and I stare straight into a pair of eyes I remember from before. "Hunter," I whisper more to myself than to him. "Oh, now you remember me," he says teasingly in a playful voice. "Don't fool yourself, I'm still not interested in finding out more about you." He's still smiling, it's a warm smile like before. "What did I do that you hate me so much?"

Now it's my turn to laugh, "You know what you did." My feet try to make their way away from him. Away from this uncomfortable conversation of memories, I don't want to remember. With hope in me that I am walking faster than him, I keep going for a while, until I do have to stop.

I bend down with my hands on my knees as I breathe hard. "Please tell me, Stephanie, I want to know," I hear Hunter's voice ask me, even though I am still catching my breath certainly I don't let him intimidate me. How dare he force me to tell him things I buried years ago. "Let me go or I'll scream!" I yell as he puts his hand on my back. "Stephanie, stop acting like a child!" Shouts Hunter at me, totally not understanding the situation. Where did he get the nerve to yell at me? "Fuck off or I'll tell Lucas." That made him loosen the grip he placed around my hips. He shakes his head, "Okay." If I knew that would make him leave, I would have said it right away.

When I am back in the apartment building, the realization goes through my head that even the park is no longer safe for me. I step into the elevator with my mind on the park and Hunter with his big hands gripping my hip in all the tenderness he has. "No, Stephanie, you have to forget about him!" I call myself to a halt as I exit the elevator and open the door to our apartment. In the shower, not long after I close the apartment door, I let the water flow over my body, warm water that put the thoughts out of my mind for a moment. Thoughts of being a puppet of both these men.