Dream POV :
George and I became friends in 2016, and since then we have been inseparable. But I always dreamt of something maybe a little more than friends..
Both George and I joke on stream that we are gay for each other, but it breaks my heart that our relationship will go no further than platonic. I mean, he doesn't even know what I look like which is a shame because if I show my face to him he will think I'm ugly and I'll never have a chance.. (like I had one before, hehe.)
These romantic feelings for George have been messing with me lately, so I stopped streaming and gaming and tried to focus more on my life. But I never gave my chat or George a real reason to why I was distancing myself all of a sudden. I just said that it was for "personal reasons". I hate to distance myself away from him, I really do, but it's my only solution to this problem that's taking over my life. 2 months. I said I would sometimes go on the server and just chat on Minecraft, because I really wasn't feeling myself to call or stream. George was starting to get insanely annoyed. 4th of June, 2019, I was scrolling on twitter whilst petting my cat when I got a message from George. We never stopped messaging each other, but I tried to make our conversation as dry as I could, to give him the hint that I didn't want to talk. The message from him read:
Him ❤️
Clay. What the BLEEP? What the BLEEP has gotten into you lately? Personal reasons? Seriously? You know you can talk to me right. I thought I was your BEST FRIEND? You've been so dry and you're just ignoring me! What the hell did I even do? Don't even try to leave me on read.
Clay 🐈
I'm sorry George. I didn't mean to be dry and ignore you. Lately I've been weird, I mean like mt emotions.
My*
You're still my best friend. This is just something that is personal to me and I'm taking a break to work on myslef.
Myself
Sorry.
Him ❤️
Im just worried thats all
Sorry if i came off rude
Clay 🐈
You didn't, trust me. Anyways, how are you?
Him ❤️
Im ok
How r u?
If you dont want 2 talk thats ok 👍
Clay 🐈
Im alright.
Him ❤️
That's good
Uh if you can just please talk to me more and call me because I miss you and your voice
Clay 🐈
Definitely 😉
Him ❤️
🙄🙄🙄
read 3:09pm
Fuuuuccckk. I didn't know I was being this ignorant.
A couple of weeks pass
This isn't gonna work. This isn't working. Seriously? How stupid am I? Of course my feelings would still be there, I've been thinking of him and his handsome face and voice this whole time I've had a break!
Should I confess yet? No way. I HAVE to face reveal before any confession is made. But after my reveal would he even like me platonically? He probably wouldn't like me romantically. I mean -
Reasons George wouldn't want to be more than friends:
1. He's not gay.
2. He hasn't seen my face.
3. He only recently broke up with his girlfriend.
4. I'm extremely ugly.
5. Different countries, different timezones. + long distance relationships are extremely problematic.
That doesn't mean I shouldn't at least try. Maybe I should become active again and show him and chat my face. More like show the world, and my world (😉) my face.
I think I'm going to tell him that I've solved my problem, (Definitely haven't), and slowly try to become the man of his dreams.
