G L O W

ch 2

It wasn't always like this, my constant hate towards people and my suicidal thoughts. It was probably when dad died that I started to change. I don't know it just felt like I wasn't feeling like myself anymore.

I was lost I didn't know what to feel anymore. A feeling of just emptiness spread through. Perhaps people feel that when grieving but they move on like my brothers did. They went on with their lives but I couldn't. And I didn't know what to do and I couldn't go to dad like I always did because he wasn't there anymore.

Kids in my class picked on me saying I was acting strange. They made fun of me so I changed I thought hard on how I used to act and put up an act. My brothers were satisfied that I was back to the joking prankster kid I used to be. I wasn't though.

Maybe it was when Ruth told me to stop. To stop acting, it was then that the world that looked like black and white to me started slowly filling with color. I was hopeful that there was someone who understood, someone who could help me and tell me what it was that was wrong with me.

Overtime just spending time with him was therapeutic. I was 10 when I met him and I was 13 when I realized that I liked him not the way a friend should like each other. And I told him that he rejected me first but later we got into a relationship.

If this was a shoujo manga I guess my love story would have made a hella interesting plot

Later he was diagnosed with cancer he fought hard but the spring that he turned 15 he died. Leaving my world back into black and white. Leaving me with a curse, to live on he says.

So I did I lived on. I lived on when his older brother came to me and broke down in my embrace. I lived on when his elder brothers touches became inappropriate. I lived on when his elder brother violated me. I lived on when he brought his friends to watch as he violated me. I lived on.

I asked my brothers to move away from here. It was when the twins were kidnapped and when they returned I told them let's go to a place far away. Did I use their trauma as a reason for my escape from this place. Yes I did because each time he touched me the less I felt and I didn't want to be addicted to the pain he made me feel. I don't want the last emotion to ever feel to be the pain.

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Gosh I am craving something sweet right now. It's weird how I don't have the will to eat -or live - for days but then suddenly I am full of hunger, well I guess that's pretty obvious because i haven't had food for umm I don't remember. Anyways I slide back my chair and I can feel my sixth sense tingling, and my sixth sense is right Alex is glaring at me.

I raise my hand in mock surrender ," I am gonna get something to eat, want something? " , I just ask for formality. Like I have only two hands and that will hold only my sweet delicacy. Oh well but Matt being Matt listed out a set of things. Well he will be disappointed. You have two legs do you not? get it on your own man! I wish I could say it out loud but I just give him a thumbs up and walk towards the dessert isle.

I take two slices of a cake and head off back towards my seat when I see a man blocking my way. This man is no stranger, hence the similar feeling of nausea came rushing back. And there goes my craving for eating that cake.

"So did you give it some thought?" , he asks as he pushes his hair back and tapping his shoes on the floor impatiently.

'' Yes " , am I being petty right now by answering him in one word. Yes I am he blocked my way and is clearly impatient in receiving an answer.

"And??" , he asks raising both of his eyebrows and dragging his 'Annnnnddddd' , now tapping his hands on his thighs.

"Well I did give it some thought and I thought no I don't wanna do it " , no actually no I didn't give it any thought the moment he asked me 'do you want me to be your drug supplier again? ', I had decided no I am gonna be a good guy and not gonna do drugs again.

He sighed," you sure?" , I was one of his regular customer and used to spend hefty amount of sum so of course he wouldn't wanna lose me.

" Yes " , I said and finally made it back to my table. Losing all interest in eating the cake I just handed both to Matt and drank the sparkly water to control my urge to puke. Gosh I really gotta get used to people I can't go around throwing up now can I.

"Arthur", now now why would you call me by my full name when I have a perfectly fine nick name Axel!!

Now like Alex he is a fan of eye contacts so I look him in the eye and raise my brow.

"Who was that guy?" , he sounded angry well always sounds like that it's like his default voice now.

"I met him in one of the previous banquet ", which is true. When I first met him he was in my usual space - the balcony - smoking weed and he offered me one. Well that's how I became his regular.

"What did you two talk about? ", now this apparently caught everyone's attention because everyone's now curiously looking at me. Well I guess they are shocked that I had a human interaction with another person except mace.

"Just common pleasantries ", I go back to sipping my sparkly water when Matt offered me the cake I offered him for which I just shook my head.

Letting out a sigh they all just get back to talking to each other and I look around the banquet and my eyes lock with a pair of electric blue eyes in response to which I immediately look back to my hand. No this is not me gushing or embarrassed about making an eye contact. I just hate those color, just those eyes sends me down the memory lane which are definitely not good.

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After that fight I slowly make my way back home. Hoping that everyone's already asleep well there goes my hope because in all glory just today everyone had to be sitting on the couch.I guess the clicking of the door caught their attention because now everyone was looking at me.

"Where were you?" , Alex asks in his same old intimidating voice

"Out", my voice came out hoarse. Well I guess it would be that guy literally did squeeze my neck so hard. I place my shoes inside the rack and get inside keeping my head down again hoping no one would notice anything and again there goes my hope. Sigh.

Alex soon stood in front of me, well by the looks of the trousers and the size of his legs i think it is Alex? Anyways he forced me to look towards him by placing his hand on my chin. If this wasn't my brother and some other handsome guy this scene would have been romantic I guess if I had described it properly.

"Look at me when I talk to yo- ", his eyes widen as he finally notices my bruises ,"who did this??!!" , his intimidating voice just got more intimidating like bruh.I take off his hands and see Matt leaving the room from the corner of my eye ," I don't know they came at me out of no where"

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When I saw the bruises on my baby brothers face I saw red. I have been quiet for a while but I guess they have forgotten what happens when anyone lays a hand on my family.

His eyes were starting to swell and his lips were bruised and is that a handprint on his neck!!? Someone's itching to be killed tonight huh. I clench my fist tight trying to calm down. Anger clouds a proper judgement so calm down. Breathe.

" I am fine Alex they are in a far worse condition than me so calm down alright? ", Arth says as he looks at me like he could say what I was thinking.

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