rooftop perspective [bbangsaz] *ON HOLD*

3

It's the noise. It's always the noise.

Minji shuts the door closed — even then it's never truly enough. It never will be. Not ever.

She turns the volume higher. For what it was, the noise cancelling headphones she bought for this exact purpose couldn't do much better than getting out of the house could.

But she would have nowhere to go. It's not that she truly had nowhere — she had the girls of course. But sometimes, being here, drowning in all the noise, was better than the inevitable nature of all the questions she'd have to answer.

She could still hear it — the yelling. It made her feel just as uneasy as the first time. It never went away. And she believed wholeheartedly that it would remain this way for all eternity.

She didn't care if it sounded dramatic. All she cared about was getting out of here — saving both herself and her sister.

"Margaret, don't push it."

Her dad's voice was loud and clear. As was the shuffling of their footsteps outside her door.

"You can't tell me not to. I've had enough of it!"

The sound of her mother's voice pierced through her thin bedroom walls. The safe haven of her own four walls was long gone.

"She's trying her best, Margaret."

She could hear her mum scoff. She could even picture the look on her face. Devilish grin, arms crossed and a stance that could scare you off.

"I don't believe in that," Margaret chuckled. "She's not trying hard enough. She never has."

It took a brief moment for Minji to realise that tears had begun to run down her cheeks. She wasn't sure if she could lay in her room for any longer than she already had been.

She was thankful that her bedroom door was fortunate enough to come with a lock. It came in handy whenever she needed it — god forbid she was smart enough to lock it minutes before.

With no hesitation did it take her to bring herself off the bed and pack light. All she needed was herself, her phone, and a playlist to drown in.

It only took her several seconds to climb out her bedroom window and onto the front porch. It was nights like these where she was thankful that she lived in a single story house.

Exhausted, Minji took her bike from the side of the house and made her way to the one place where no one could possible find her.

***

The cool breeze kissed the sides of her cheeks. She wasn't sure how her day could change so drastically in a matter of hours.

She started to believe that even for a moment, she deserved to be happy. Now, she went back to believing that happiness was something completely out of her reach — something she could never have.

But that made her want it even more.

All her doubts and worries consumed her. It ran through the course of her veins. It felt as if most her problems were what took most of the space in her body. And it sure felt like it too.

She sat there — wondering.

She wondered about many things. About a life she could never have. A life so far from her reach. A life that maybe in a parallel universe, she was happy. More than happy, even.

The thought of it brought a smile to her face. But surely enough, it was short lived. She knew that fantasising about a life such as that would do her more good than harm.

But that's just what life is. What her life is. A life full of needing to be great, to be better, and to be absolutely untouchable.

Minji grew tired of wanting to be any of those things a long time ago. It was safe to say that her mother wasn't too big of a fan of it either.

Needing to be all that was exhausting.

And as the sun set and the sky grew darker, the air colder, and her heart a little more lonelier, a soft voice broke the silence.

"You're not supposed to be up here."

She was uncertain. That voice, she thought. It sounded familiar. But she couldn't put a finger on it. Where does she know that voice from?

"Look, I'm not gonna kick you out or anything," The mysterious voice added. "But I'm gonna need you to move either way. You can't be up here."

Minji's brows furrowed.

The rooftop had been her escape for months. Not once has she ever encountered anyone telling her to move out and leave.

"Are you deaf? You can't be up here."

"Well neither should you." She bellowed.

Minji turned her body enough for her to realise who she had been speaking with.

"Minji?" Hanni's brows furrowed. "Why are you up here all by yourself?" She questioned.

"Because. That's the whole point. To be by myself," She explained. "The rooftop is the only place I want to be right now. Please don't tell anyone that I'm up here. I just... I can't leave."

Hanni took several small steps forward, a worried yet curious expression written across her face. There was a greater amount of concern on the girl's face than Minji had ever seen on her own mother's face when it came to her.

"What do you mean by that?" Hanni questioned.