chapter one: call of silence

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Have you ever said something that you regretted?

Something that changes the course of your life forever?

Something that sits with you, festers inside you, haunts your mind both day and night. It hits the pits of your stomach and you know, you know...all you can think about is the one thing you said ...

And how you wished you could take it back the moment it went past your lips. How you wish you could turn back time and stop it from ever getting to that point, from ever happening.

You regret it the second it happens but there's nothing you can do because you can't change the past. You can't go back. You can't fix it.

That's what I am.

Full of regrets.

I fell into those eyes like I was adrift on the ocean. Completely lost in them, I almost forgot why we didn't work, all the unanswered questions... what was left completely unfinished. I thought he would give me everything.

I believed that I was his world and he was mine. Before you, I had never known what love meant, but you showed me.

Did I want to be in love?

I thought I did.
Till I met him and my universe was shattered.

 Till I met him and my universe was shattered

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"Can you believe this thing?" I exclaimed, looking at my friend on our face time call. He rolls his eyes with a small knowing smile, it's loving and tender but I could tell he was a bit irritated with said topic. I've talked about this game more times than I can count this week, he's probably sick of hearing it.

"It's just- I get why people play but doesn't it get to a point where you wanna stop?" Rolling on my stomach I turn and face the camera completely.

"Yes, but they are getting paid." The boy utter with no hesitation. His head tilting in confusion as to why I was randomly bringing this up, again. I sit up from my spot, "People are dying!" I watch as he shrugged his shoulders.

"That's a them problem." I move my laptop and reposition it. He once again rolls his eyes. And my jaw dropped in disbelief at his words, "Who are you and what have you done with my best friend?" Sighing Armin puts his calculus homework down and redirects his attention to me.

"I understand." Resting his head on the palm of his hand he looks up at me from his desk. "But at the end of the day it's their lives, Y/n." Armin crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair, "There's no point stressing over it, believe me, I tried to jailbreak it. But it's impossible..." The boy scoffed softly, an emotion I rarely see flashes on his face.

He was upset about this. He wasn't lying.

Never the less I feed into his argument, "Do you mean that? Or are you trying to get me to stop talking?" I could tell he was itching to get back to his work. The way his eyes kept glancing down at the paper as if they were going to run away.

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⏰ Last updated: Feb 11 ⏰

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