Her Life in Chats #2 : Hate You, Love You

$66

Dear Kian,

I could easily send you a text, but I feel like I should make it even. When I received those letters, I really was touched that you went out of your way to do it, writing every word down in your curly handwriting.

Now, you might think that I haven't read them at all, but now I can tell you that I've read every single word you've written from your heart, and I feel every single one of them. The poems you've written for me; those are really sweet, Kian.

Part of the reason why I didn't write back was because if I did, then maybe those poems wouldn't keep coming.

Just kidding, lol.

On a different note, though, it really was pretty nice to see you getting all frustrated over this.

I was mad at you about pretending to be Jasmine. But when I thought about it, you were only ever trying to get to know me more. Or perhaps, to help me remember.

Troy helped me to retrieve my memories through photos, places, songs and everything else which was possible. I could hardly imagine that you were my childhood friend, Kian. I didn't remember that besides Troy, I played hide and seek, sneaked out of the house and got into trouble with you.

But now I do. I remember now. I remember everything I've lost after the accident. Remember when I told your alter ego, Jasmine, that I hated you?

Let me tell you this stupid reason why : you used to tease me and ruffle my pigtails all the time. I could now clearly remember how I pushed your hands away and screamed, "I hate you!" in your face.

And then as I grew up, I only had bits of my memories with me. It was a blur, but somehow I remembered that I hated this guy with brown hair.

Okay, it was really, really stupid. But give me some credit. I was only five.

Anyway, I asked Troy why he didn't help me to remember earlier. He told me that you and him both didn't want to trigger my sorrow after my parents' death. And for that, Kian, I thank you.

For the past few weeks, the memories started coming back, in bits and pieces. They hurt, of course. But I think I can accept it now.

Kian, I was really surprised when you yelled those three words in the library like that. I haven't expected you to do that at all. But I was really, really happy. Bet you could tell, though.

Only now you are a persona non grata to that public library. The librarians were clearly pretty mad.

But well, it was the best surprise anyone has ever given to me.

I love you, Kian.

Love,
Emily.