his favourite

adore

Third POV

As time went by clay started to go back to his old life, but it wasn't as easy as he thought.

The first few weeks went by normally but he slowly noticed that every time he was with someone, he couldn't get up.

He couldn't get it up, not until he was thinking about George. Until he was imagining George in front of him, imagining that it was George who touches him.

It wasn't just that he couldn't get it up.. he dreamed about George. He felt lonely and unloved without George.

No matter where or what he was doing with that person, George was always in his mind.

Until it hit him like a bus.
He really liked George.

Clay POV

It can't be! How can I not get it up without thinking about him?
"I can't, I gotta go." I quickly say to Amara as I pull my shirt back on.

"what-" she sits herself up "did I do anything wrong?" she asks "no, I just remembered something. Sorry!" Is all I said before I left her alone.

I go through my hair as I walk down the path.
The moment George looked at me with those hurting eyes.. I had a weird feeling.

At first I thought I just drank to much or I'm getting sick, but the more I think about it the more I realise how much George really means to me.

I was thinking about sex all the time that I completely ignored myself being happy with him, being in love with him, being myself with him.

I liked how he touched me, how he got red around me, how I laid in his arm. I fucking fell in love with George without realising it.

Now I've cheated on him.. I've hurt him!

How could I do that! Why didn't I realise sooner, but now after hurting him..

fuck every other guy or girl, I want George.

The way George looked at me, smiled at me, laughed with me, slept next to me and just existed next to me.

how couldn't I notice how much I adored him?

I look at the time.
Two in the morning but that doesn't stop me from making my way to George.

When I arrived at his house I didn't know what to do. I can't ring the bell at 2am, what if his parents open the door.

Suddenly a light goes on.
I quickly look inside and see the kitchen with George in it, who's making himself a snack.

I knock on the window.
He flinches and looks to the window before slowly coming near.

His eyes wide and fills with anger but sadness at the same time. The window gets opened by him and he welcomes me with a "what?"

"George.." I mumble as I feel my heart hurting the more I look into his eyes "George what?" he gives me a stupid look.

"Can we talk?" I ask "we're talking. What do you want?" George rolls his eyes. "Please come outside.." I whisper, which made him stare for a few minutes.

He closes the window and I see how he walks out in pyjamas. "why did you want me to come out in this cold?" he annoyedly asks "you want my jacket?"

"Clay talk!" he almost shouts "I came to apologise!" I quickly say. His eyes don't wide as I expected, his reaction doesn't change at all.

"I did something horrible and I'm so sorry." I keep staring into his eyes "tzz-" he laughs "I'm serious." I say.

"I was only thinking about sex, so much that i didn't realise." I take a break "that I didn't realise how much I really love you."

His eyes fill with anger.

"Love!?" he shouts "you call all that love!"
"George.." I say as I grab his hand but he slaps it away.

"no!" his eyes fill with tears "how can you come here and talk like this.." he gives me a shocked and disappointed face, which hurts more than a punch in the stomach.

"I can be myself with you. I'm happy with you, I feel comfortable and safe.." I tell him "your manipulations won't work on me anymore." he says.

my eyes wide.
"you think I'm trying to manipulate you?"
"What I'm saying is the truth! I really love you and it was my mistake for not realising soon enough!" I get closer to him.

"Fuck off! I'm not believing you anything!" his tears roll down, but he wipes them away "you're an manipulative asshole who only thinks about himself!"

"George that's not true!" I yell "it is more than true!" he shouts back. "George please.. believe me this once and never again." I beg.

"I've believed you so much! I trusted you so much! I trusted you more than Lia- Lia my best friend!" George shouts.

"Now to that.." George starts "you fucking lied to me about Lia being in love with me!" he yells at me.

"I know I lied- I lied about everything except the fact that I love you.." I look deep into his eyes but the only thing I can see is hate and sadness.

A dark hate.

"I'm so god damn sorry George. Please, I love you more than anything." I try to grab his hand "then continue with it." he slaps my hand away.

We stare into each other's eyes before he walks in and leaves me all alone there.

I feel how it starts to rain on me but I just can't move. I can't run to my car and get inside to not get wet.. I just stand there and watch his door.

This isn't how it's meant to go. George is supposed to believe me, he's supposed to forgive and love me.

It's not going like it's supposed to.