More Than This || Larry x Tanner

7. Endings and Beginnings

Chapter word count: 11147

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There's a quiet that falls upon the room, a relaxing ambience provided by a spinning fan that fills an otherwise silent space. There's a lack of light present — the sun doing a poor job illuminating the room as it's blocked out by the black curtains that hang over the small windows. The darkness wasn't too bad.

The bed sheets are warm and soft against Larry's mellow skin, his legs tangled with the boy under him, his head resting softly on his chest. Strong arms are wrapped around him, Larry surprised to wake up and remained glued to the boy he's in love with, though, he really shouldn't be that surprised either. He feels safe, Tanner's soft consistent breathing gently hitting his hair. He finds it endearing.

His eyes feel heavy, his mind slow as he finds his body fighting to stay awake, refusing to get up and move away from this position. Larry's loud, yearning mind got in the way of his ability to sleep last night, unable to fall asleep at a reasonable time and unfortunately, staying hopelessly awake for a few hours until finally crashing, his mind finally growing quiet.

Surprisingly, despite the intense fatigue that washed over him, he found himself unable to fall back asleep, his body fighting to stay awake yet, unable to fall back into that peaceful slumber he craved. It was an unfortunate circumstance.

It didn't really matter — as long as he could remain in this position, to stay cuddled with Tanner, (forever if he could) then it didn't matter if he was awake or not. He just wanted to stay here — like this.

He never wanted to move — he wouldn't if he could. You can't blame him, not when all he wanted was to stay on top of Tanner, their warm bodies pressed closely together as they held each other close, refusing to let go. To breathe in Tanner's familiar musky scent, to feel the steady beating of his heart echo in his ears, to feel the way their bodies fit so perfectly together — you can't blame him when it was perfect.

But he can't keep living in a fantasy — to pretend everything was okay, to pretend everything was real when it wasn't. None of it was real and the reminder brings a pang to his heart, his stomach dropping at the thoughts that ran endlessly through his mind the previous night. Anxiety spreads through him, traveling through his bloodstream as he thinks about what this means — as he thinks about the inevitable conversation he needs to have with Tanner. He dreads it more than ever.

He feels sick, a burning feeling traveling up through his throat, his stomach violently whirling as he finds himself quickly growing in a panic. It wasn't fair.

If any of this was real — if this wasn't some one sided issue he had to deal with than it wouldn't it matter but it was and he can't continue living in this fantasy. In reality, Larry doesn't want to end things but he'd be stupid to continue with the way his feelings have developed. Continuing would only be detrimental.

If only Tanner liked him back.

A small sigh escapes Tanner's lips, his once quiet snores now completely gone as the bed begins to lightly shift. The arms that were wrapped securely around Larry begin to move, sliding down to Larry's bare waist before eventually dropping them to down to Tanner's side. Tanner's weary eyes begin to slowly flutter open, lazily waking up from his once deep slumber.

His dark eyes meet Larry's, a small smile gracing his lips the moment he's met with Larry, unable to hide the warm grin that lies upon his face. Tanner instinctively, without a second thought, brings his hand to Larry's hair and caresses it — a habit he's seemingly gotten into as of late.

"Good morning," he says, his throat croaky, fatigue present in his voice.

"Morning," responds Larry, his voice a lot quieter and frail in comparison.