Here she was, mascara smeared down her face as she blasted sad songs in her room with the only light coming from the midnight sun resting upon her from her bedroom window. A cold breeze trickled into her spacious room sending shivers through her body.
"Ahhhhhhhhhhh!" She screamed into her hands, as she slowly broke out into a sob.
She curled into a ball at the corner of her bed. She picked up a picture frame sitting on her nightstand examining it. It was a photo he had taken of the pair. He was giving her a piggyback ride while they stood in a field of daisies and she wore his hoodie which was too big for her.
"Why don't you love me....." She said merely below a whisper.
She wanted to hate him but she couldn't so that's when she started hating herself. Only a few days ago had she stood in his arms hoping that embrace would last forever. That she never had to feel alone again because he made her feel complete. Like she wasn't a nobody that roamed the crowded halls of her school like she was the highlight of his day, but that's what this was....she wasn't.
She had to watch as another walked in the arms of her love. It was supposed to be her. She was supposed to be holding his hand. She was supposed to be in his embrace. She knew she was selfish of her for wanting him all to herself but she knew that wouldn't happen, not in this lifetime. No matter how many flirty little comments they passed around she would always be a friend.
She clung onto the fabric on her that belonged to him. Looking down at it all it did was remind her of him.
She was shattered. She couldn't show it, not to him, not to anyone. She always caught herself thinking about him all day. Her hands trembled as she hugged the frame close to her chest.
Her heart beat for something that she couldn't have. He was her home, her safe haven. He was always gonna be the friend she needed no matter how much it hurt her. She wanted to be more than friends but that couldn't happen because no matter what it was never gonna be her. No matter what's said and done it's always gonna be him for her. She was dark but he was her light. Every touch, every smile, every word, every look made her fall deeper and she hated it she hated herself.
She pushed herself off her bed as she stumbled towards the window. Silence crept upon the room. All that could be heard was her unsteady breaths as she wiped her remaining tears and the slow pattering of water drops hitting her roof. She slipped her hand out of the window as the cold breeze hit her trembling hands water rapidly hitting it.
She walked over to her door opened it and ran down and out the door onto the porch. She stood below it for a second admiring how the water splashed everything it hit the ground making a small puddle. She stepped onto her driveway and started spinning around in circles. She paused and looked up at the sky slowly closing her eyes. She stood like that for a moment.
" I LOVE YOUUU!!!" She screamed as loud as she could.
"and I hate myself for it........." She whispered to herself.
By now she was soaked. She brought her head down and looked down at the ground. She decided to lie there so she did. Her head rested on her hands as she looked at the sky closing her eyes once again.
Minutes passed. She felt an arm brush against hers as she opened her eyes and looked over to her right. She could recognise those hazel eyes from anywhere no matter how happy or sad they looked, they always were the eyes she loved. She could stare into them for hours on end. She held her gaze on him.
"Hey, beautiful" His soft voice echoed in her ears earning him a smile.
"Hey handsome" She whispered scared he was gonna disappear.
That's how they stayed. They gazed into each other's eyes. Tears fell from her eyes going unnoticed by him due to the raindrops sculpting her face.
'God, I love you and I hate myself for it but I'll never let you know because I'm scared I'm gonna lose you..' she thought knowing he wouldn't hear.
'I love you so much, more than you could ever know, but I'm not the one for you darling. ' he thought not letting his eyes leave her soft brown ones.
