dear jack • jack hughes

004

THE FALLOUT
Liana's Point of View
📍Toronto, Ontario Canada
August 2018

Quinn got drafted to the Canucks last month. He gets to stay here in Canada, but sadly, he's in Vancouver. I'm really happy for him, though. I know this is his dream. Jack gets drafted next year, and Luke and I go to college next year.

If Jack getting drafted is anything like Quinn's draft, I won't be seeing him much anymore. I hope the same doesn't happen with Luke, he's my best friend.

I realize now, that I've had a crush on Jack since the first day I met him. I've realized I don't see him the same way I see Luke or Quinn, I don't see him like a brother, I see him as something else.

Luke is bound for University of Michigan, and I'm off to Penn State. Jack is playing for Team USA in Michigan. He has some friends there like Alex Turcotte, Trevor Zegras, and Cole Caulfield. He's been going back and forth between there and here.

It's been hard, and we all know we are slowly drifting apart. It feels different for me though. They are all I have. I feel like they are outgrowing me.

Quinn is back in Toronto for a couple of days. He leaves on Tuesday. "He really likes you, you know." Quinn leans into my shoulder and pushes it a little.

"He doesn't, Quinn. I know he doesn't. He sees me like a little sister. Just like you and Luke." I say.

"Whatever you say, Lia." He says. "I hate to admit it... but I miss you when you go to Pittsburgh."

"Might?" He just shrugs his shoulders and me with a small smile. "All of us being in different places is going to be really weird."

"We'll still talk everyday, we can have a cool group chat or something." He says. That was the plan, but that's not how it turned out.

2020 (2 YEARS LATER)

Jack got drafted to the NHL like I knew he would. He got drafted to the New Jersey Devils, his rookie year isn't going too good. Luke is in college now, and Quinn is thriving in the league like he always has been.

I'm here at Penn State, I'm almost done with my first year and I couldn't be more happy. It sucks here. I got offered a scholarship to University of Michigan, and I obviously took it. Working at Starbucks isn't going to pay for college.

I haven't talked to Luke, Jack, or Quinn since the night Jack got drafted and honestly... I really fucking miss them. They're like my family, they are my family.

Luke was my best friend, we spent so much time together and he's the reason I wasn't an orphan one way or another. Quinn is like my older brother that I never had, he was always protective of me.

And Jack, he was the first person I ever had a crush on, he was my first love. My only love, actually. But they all outgrew me.

After my intro to business class today, I'm going to go back to Toronto for the weekend. My therapist said I need closure or something. I was supposed to do it last weekend, but the constant thought of possibly running into my parents while I'm there is what's holding me back.

I need to focus on the now, though. I have a few friends here in college, but they aren't really my friends. They all have other friend groups already, I guess I'm just the floater friend.

"I'm gonna miss you when you go off to Umich, Liana." That's another thing. Everyone here calls me Liana. Lia is only a name Jack, Luke, and Quinn call me.

"I'll miss you, too." A couple of my 'friends' have all said that to me, and I always reply with the same answer. The truth is, I won't really miss them. Maybe that makes me a bad person... but I don't think it does.

I know the difference between actually missing someone and thinking you miss them. I actually miss the Hughes family and my parents. I think I miss anything else other than that.

I don't lay down at night thinking about past memories of my 'friends' like I do with my childhood I spent with the Hughes family. I don't wish that just for a second I could have everything back the way it was before they outgrew me. It's not the same as it was and I hate it.

I wish I could be the power ballad that lifts him up and holds him down. I wish I could be the broken love song that feeds his misery.

I could wish all that I want, but it won't bring us together.

I feel like I drove them away. I randomly moved in with them one day, what if they didn't want that? What if they didn't really even what to hang out with me?

I wish I could go back to when we would all spend time together, watching and playing hockey. The late nights spent gathered in the living room watching playoff games.

I still watch hockey, because it ties me to them in a way. It feels like there's an invisible string tying them to me when I watch hockey.

I make my way towards my Uber to the airport. I want back the mind I had when I thought we would always be that close forever. God, it was so stupid to think that.

"Liana Logan?" The uber driver asks once I get into the car. He sounds familiar....

"Yep, that's me." I say. I ponder on his voice for a second. Maybe it's just all in my head because of why I've been thinking about lately, but I swear that sounds like Jim Hughes.

The entire drive there, he doesn't say anything else to me and nothing when I get out. So I guess it wasn't Jim. I mean, that does make sense. Why would Jim Hughes be an Uber driver when 2 out of three of his sons are making bank in the NHL and his third one is bound to do it too in a couple of years?

I do believe in signs from the universe, though. What if the universe was trying to tell me to reach out to them?

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

im watching the leafs game rn, i hope they win but it's 1-0 panthers but there's still a lot of game left