take two

omnipotent

ᴛʀɪɢɢᴇʀ ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢꜱ ʟɪꜱᴛᴇᴅ ɪɴ ᴏᴘᴇɴɪɴɢ ᴀᴜᴛʜᴏʀ'ꜱ ɴᴏᴛᴇ

･ﾟ:*

"do you like these jeans?" dream asks, moving his phone so sapnap could see it.

the ravenette opens his eyes, same uneasy expression on his face. he replies, "yeah, they'd look nice on you."

dream nods, bringing the phone back towards himself as he continues to scroll.

they're spooning on dream's bed, trying to relax after a few hours of entertaining tommy and spirit, but something is off.

it doesn't feel dramatic for dream to think that sapnap was happier with his brother and dog than he has been with him. the ravenette just seems closed off when they're alone- tired and blunt but overly nice in places.

plus, dream feels more like he's cuddling sapnap than them cuddling each other.

maybe he's imagining it -paranoid for a future he's already predicted to come- or maybe his time with his boyfriend actually is already running thin.

that's sad to think about, and the hand not holding his phone instinctively wraps tighter around the ravenette.

he always thought he was ready for this time to come, but now he's not so sure. he always knew it would be sad and, honestly, has been recovering from the heartbreak before it even happened, but it's still going to hurt.

he's losing his boyfriend, after all.

dream is in a position similar to when someone is in hospital and you know they're going to die, so you're just waiting for it to come- you mourn them even in their life.

the blond switches his phone off, focusing all of his attention on holding sapnap (this feels like the last time... he hopes it isn't).

sapnap has been just lying there for almost an hour, not sparking conversation or going on his phone or anything.

he's had his eyes shut, but not like he's sleeping, more like they're screwed shut in pain. dream asked if he was okay and he just said yes and moved quickly on.

even when they were with tommy he was acting weird, seeming distracted and in his own head, missing parts of conversations and zoning out more often than usual.

"are you okay?" dream asks again into the material of sapnap's shirt, biting down on his own lip after the question slips by as he knows this has got to be the sixth or seventh time he asked today.

"fine," sapnap replies. he moves slightly, like he's curling up on himself.

the blonde swallows and the silence that settles over them suddenly feels incredibly awkward.

which is weird, cause they're never awkward together. relationship aside, they're still best friends, so why is it so uncomfortable to be sat in silence with one another?

the blonde's eyes burn a little, knowing innately deep down that whatever this means isn't good for him and just wishing he could fix it.

he wished he could freeze this moment forever- for he would rather be stuck in awkward silence with his boyfriend than move to a future where he risks drifting from his ex.

deep down though, he hopes that the impending end of their relationship is what has sapnap upset, because he would rather it be that than something horrible and personal.

it would make sense too. the more dream thinks about it, the more he realises that his boyfriend's behaviour seems almost guilty, and it clicks in his mind that sapnap has probably started to realise that the love is fake, and he feels bad.

dream doesn't want him to feel bad, not at all. if sapnap will be happy with karl, then dream wants him to go! he wants sapnap happy, above all.

what good would it be for both of them to stay in a relationship that neither of them believe in?

yet dream still refuses to end it because there's still that selfish part of him that just wants a little longer. hours, days, weeks, whatever it is, he wants it.

though it's getting admittedly harder to want when it seems to be hurting the ravenette. maybe if dream let him go he wouldn't feel guilty over whatever emotions must be flowing through him.

the blond wonders what it is that made sapnap wake up and face reality- did something good happen with karl, or was it something bad that dream did?

he hopes it was something with karl, then at least he himself wouldn't have to feel like he's not good enough.

(who is he kidding? he already feels like he isn't good enough.)

then again, dream can't think of when karl and sapnap would've been alone enough for something significant to actually happen.

or maybe nothing happened. maybe it was all the little things that made sapnap realise who he was really in love with.

maybe it's because karl is more dainty or because sapnap realised that he didn't want a sporty boyfriend or because he prefers brunettes or maybe karl is funnier than dream or more soft-spoken or...

or maybe sapnap was always in love with karl.

yeah, that's the one.

and dream knows that! and it's okay... he doesn't mind. it upsets him but he's not upset at sapnap- after all, he can't pick and choose who to love, that's not how it works.

someone with a bit more self-respect may recognise the fact that sapnap shouldn't've started dating him in the first place but dream justifies it by saying that he doesn't think sapnap meant any of this to be bad.

he thinks sapnap genuinely thought he fancied him and he thinks sapnap really did want them to be happy together but that just isn't how the cards turned and now he thinks that sapnap actually does feel bad.

dream struggles to really pinpoint anything that sapnap's done wrong in the imaginary storyline he's written in his mind (which quite literally might not even be true).

still, with the way that sapnap is lying stiff in his arms, quiet and seemingly contemplative, he can't help but think this is their last time.

･ﾟ✧

penny for your thoughts?

love you mucho

-kit