The Fear of Failure

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As the new day begins, Tonowari comes to fetch my father and me for training. I hug my siblings and give my mother a kiss on the cheek before following him out the door. Walking closer and closer to the water only heightens my fear. I was afraid of not being good enough, maybe I should have turned down the offer. Fuck...

"Ok, we will start with Ilu, they are easier to master and will allow you to train your mind for underwater riding. Once you have mastered that, then we can move onto the Tsurak" the chief begins.

"What's that one?" My father asks as he points to a very large and threatening sea creature. Tonowari and I close our eyes briefly and breath out slowly, already knowing what is going to happen. He turns to the water and then back to my father.

"That is a Tsurak, we will work our way up to it." He tries to diffuse the situation.

"We'll be fine, lets just jump to it first" my father says as he leaves the two of us and begins to walk towards the animal. The chief and I roll eyes before meeting them, both with looks of annoyance on our faces. The cloned reaction between the two of us causes us both to chuckle, we then turn to follow my father.

"Not very patient is he?"

"Never has been, only when it comes to battle planning." I laugh out as Tonowari joins in. We reach the shallow water to see two warriors hold the Tsurak while my father prepares to mount it. I stand back, watching in amusement as the chief joins and also struggles to help the others hold it down. We are so fucked...

"This is a warrior's mount, not easy to master. Perhaps, you should... start with an Ilu" The chief tries to change his mind, knowing these creatures better than us.

"Nah. This one." My father retorts as he gets settled upon the beast. He begins to wrap a strap around his hand, securing him to the grip of the mount. Realizing how stubborn my father is, the chief huffs before trying to at least help him a bit.

"Now remember, when you dive back in, good position. Very important" Tonowari reaffirms. My father, ready to go, looks to him once more before speaking again.

"I got this." No, no you do not...

As he takes off from the hold of the warriors, the four of us huddle to watch how he does. He hovers on the water for a bit before rising with the Tsurak and begins to fly with its tail still under, pushing them faster. They swerve back and forth for a while before he finds his footing and straightens out. 

I let out a scoff of doubt, but continue to silently cheer him on

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I let out a scoff of doubt, but continue to silently cheer him on. Moments later, they squish together to dive into the water. In sync, the four of us drop to watch how he does, only for us to find him loosing his grip and the rope coming undone. We lift out of the water with Tonowari and myself grimacing while the other two laugh. I turn to them and glare, causing it to cease.

"Well, he did good for his first try" The chief speaks. I nod in agreeance with him, he then turns to me, "Your turn." My face pales. Fuck. 

"Oh lovely" I say to him. He smiles and they call the Tsurak back from it's first run. I wait until they have it in their grasp before grabbing my braid and making tsaheylu with the animal. As the bond forms, it immediately calms down, surprising us all. It then lowers itself more, making it easier for me to mount it. I stand shocked for a moment before stepping over it and sitting down. I close my eyes and try to calm myself and the beast before situating myself properly. By this time, the others have let go and are silently watching me.

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