I sit in my room, quietness in the air, I'm crying silently, my arms covering my face. I don't even care that my door is open, or not even locked. It's been a stressful week, especially since that lunar almost died, Moon almost died, eclipse.. got sent to the hospital more than twice, Bloodmoon twins have been choked 2 times severely, killcode literally just is ignoring everyone, starflow and rainbow have been fighting this week.. it's stressful and scary, I can't hold back any of my stress no more.
I didn't notice that I started to cry louder, I was clouded with my thoughts, I get up and close the door, I'm trying to fight the urge.. "Sun don't do this.. don't do this don't do this don't do this don't do this don't do this don't do this don't do this don't do this.." I grab a glass shard, rolled up my sleeve.. slit some cuts.
I noticed sun had his door closed, not locked, but closed. I heard some sobbing of suns.. I feel concerned. I knock on the door, slowly opening it.. I feel terrible at the sight.
Moon: "Sun?.." Sun(?): "Moon! Haha- hi!.." Sun said trying to fight back tears. Sun hid his hands behind his back, hiding the glass shard also. Moon: "Why were you cutting yourself?.. And why are you crying.. What's wrong my brother.. please tell me." Sun(?): "...." A silence came from Sun. Silence filled the room for a moment. It was only momentarily till Moon snapped.
Moon: "Sun give me your arms." Sun(?): "No!" Moon: "I'm not asking you. Show. Me. Your. Arms!" Sun(?): "No no no!"
Moon then grabbed suns upper part of the arms, forcing the hidden wounds to show, including the glass shard. Moon was stunned at the wounds.
"Cutting myself was a bad idea.. I should've listened I should've listened I should've listened I should've listened I should've listened I should've listened."
I was panicking, zoned out. I didn't know that moon was trying to wake me up, I then fell limp into moons arms. My whole body giving out (physically type, NOT THOSE SUS 24/7 ONES). I felt my vision get blurry, I heard my heartbeat.. it was beating fast, I didn't even feel a tiny bit of blood/(oil, whatever you name it) come out of my mouth. The happy pills Moon or the others didn't know I have, fell in the distance, clattering a little. Some of the pills fell out. I didn't hear that. Only a small bonk. I then fell asleep.. forcing myself to fall asleep. Hoping to not feel blurry, terrible.
I tried to wake up my brother so many times.. I held him close in my arms when I felt him fall limp into my arms, comfortable for sun, I heard the clatter, I turned my attention to it, still holding sun close, "Hm.. I'll check that out later.." I thought, picking up sun and carrying my brother to his bed. I laid down sun and bandaged suns wounds, cleaning up the blood (or oil, please don't sue me if I get it wrong) that came out of suns mouth and suns wounds. I didn't care that I was tearing up as long I don't cry.
Not infront of my possibly-could-wake-up-anytime-now brother. Especially that the doors open? Not today. I'm not showing that I can cry. I sat next to sun, holding him protectively.
I was feeling even worse, not only that but I feel nauseated 24/7 today. I laid in bed for most of the day, exepct for when I gagged.. thats when I had to go to the restroom so I don't throw up in bed.
Sun randomly threw up, not even knowing it was going to happen, he panicked, he rushed to the restroom as he felt more coming up. He broke down in tears as he vomited into the sink. There was some blood.. making sun cry even more, he was just a vomiting mess at this point. He felt terrible, he fell to the floor.
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He then threw up again to where he even passed out.. a few moments later Moon found sun on the ground, moon cleaned up sun and the mess sun made, then put sun to bed, putting a ice pack on suns forehead and tucking sun in.
I wake up, not knowing what happened I get up, picking up moon and placing moon on my beanbag chair (Sibling love yk?), I go over to my desk, grabbing a "few" happy pills, (16 pills) and taking them.. I don't know why but it's just my way to cope with my stress.
