Closer With Cow-Shit

Chapter 6: Queer

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--painfully dissected penis flew into his face.

Stan screamed a girlish scream, his hands flailing around his face as he tried to frantically brush it off without touching it too much. It eventually fell off with a splat on the black, gravel road, due to the fact that he moved around so much, he didn't really have to touch it to get it off his face. Butters muffled laugh being heard through his slim hands while Stan held Sparky close to his chest in a tight grip.

He was horrified. He had no other words to describe how absolutely disgusted he was. Never in his life has he ever experienced something like this, never has he expected or even dreamed of this to happen. He never even thought that a dissected penis, would fly onto his face. It wasn't even cold and dissected, it was warm and freshly dissected, and it just had to be bleeding. Now, he has to walk around with penis blood on his face, the thought alone makes his stomach turn, his throat close up and his armpits sweat profusely under the sleeves of his shirt.

He looked around at his surroundings, checking to see if anybody had their phones out to record and or take pictures of him. His anxiety went up to the roof at the thought of all the memes that'd come up on the internet, of all the rude and cheesy things they'd say about him. They'd call him Penis Boy or a queer. He shivered at the thought, the word 'queer' giving him a scare of a lifetime. Upon looking around, he noticed that Butters was no longer in front of him. His eyebrows knitted together in concern, feeling slightly scared at the sudden disappearance of his temporary tour guide.

"Sir Douchebag has slain the evil Penis Mouse!" A childish voice shrieked, grabbing Stan's attention almost instantly.

He turned his head to where the voice was coming from, seeing a group of people surrounding three kids in fantasy costumes that were most likely made out of cardboard and paper mache. One of those many surrounding people would be Butters. It was easy to spot the blonde boy due to the fact that he stuck out like a sore thumb when being around a group of normal teenagers and or adults in this weird, small town. His bright smile and cheerful attitude was like a shining light of grace that floated around him in the sun. But he wasn't complaining though. Thanks to that it made it easy for him to find Butters.

At first, he thought that this 'Penis Mouse' was just some little kids making fun of him for getting a dissected penis thrown in his face, but that theory was proven wrong when he finally got close enough to see what everybody was so excited about. One kid was in an elf costume, another was dressed as a knight, and the last kid was dressed as a traveler. Laying in front of the kid dressed as a traveler was a dead mouse with blood flowing out of the top of its head, staining the white fur under it.

Stan felt as if these kids killed a random house mouse for their own little game, he felt as if it was cruel and that he should say something about the current situation. He licked the sweat off his lips, opening his mouth to scold these three kids before getting cut off by the little kid in the paper mache and cardboard knight costume,

"Huzzah, Sir Douchebag!" The knight yelled, thrusting his plastic sword in the air.

"Huzzah!!" The crowd of people shouted in unison. Some people clapped their hands while others whistled at the three kids.

Stan groaned, already having enough of this stupid town despite the fact that he's only been here for about four hours. He could feel the blood on his face starting to crack and dry, some even sinking into his pores the more he stood there. He didn't want anything more than going home, even considering just calling Mickey to convince him to let him come home and continue the tour with Kyle, Kenny and Cartman. Even considering swallowing his pride to beg Mickey to let him come back. He quickly brushed the thought of it off. Finding that his pride was too good to let go, he refused to become some submissive retard that trembled at the slightest touch and or call of the name.

He wasn't going to become one of Mickey Mouse's little bitches. He refused to be one of his little bitches. Too bad he was though. Mickey and Wendy's little bitch. They had him on a tight leash that pulled him closer and closer to the edge of his career. Everytime he closed his eyes he couldn't help but think how it would end and what lie's could be told to make it snap and squish into a pile of crumbs, almost as if it was a bag of chips that had been sat on by an overly obese person.

He lets his eyes wander around the crowd, looking for any sign of Butters so he can convince the blonde to take them back to the farm, maybe even try to convince him to let them get a cab instead of walking four miles back to the shitty ass farm he so dearly resents. But that thought was only to be drowned once he realized that Butters was no longer in the spot he once saw him in beforehand. His anxiety started to bubble back up as worrisome thoughts trickled into his mind. He continued to look around the crowd in hopes of seeing the sunny blonde pop up with his annoyingly perfect smile.

It wasn't like Stan- needed Butters, it's just the fact that Butters left him alone with no sense of direction that made him feel a bit freaked out. That's all. He didn't need to depend on Butters for help, just for direction. He was sure that he didn't need the blonde's help at all, already making up his mind about finding his own way back to the farm. He didn't need any help to get there, all he needed was his pride and his new dog Sparky and then he'd find his way back to the hell house that he hasn't even stepped foot in yet.

"Stanley! Where ya' goin' ya' silly goose, I'm right here!"

Stan sighed in aggravation, letting out a groan right after his long, dramatic sigh before turning around to meet eyes with Butters, who was currently running toward him with the most eye-blinding smile he's ever seen. It made his stomach bubble with a burning rage at the others' perfect smile. He's never actually heard of a beautiful person being as nice and approachable as Butters. Not that it was true anyway. Every beautiful person has something disgusting to hide. They're never as pure as they say they are, and that's just the hard truth.

"Well Stanley, there's no need to be a Negative Nancy. I was just comin' over here to ask ya' if 'ur ready to go back to the farm and--"

He quickly cut him off, "Fuck yes! Please dude, let's go. I'm seriously tired of this." He cried dramatically.

"Awesome Sauce!" Butters chirped, his eye-blinding smile coming back to place.

Butters started to make his way down the street, grocery bags rattling each time he swung arms back and forth. Stan followed behind, talking to Sparky in a whispered tone to keep himself distracted from the burning ache that will soon come.