Closer With Cow-Shit

Chapter 11: Month One: Day 4, Pt.2

At first, Stan had no idea what Peppermint Hippo was. He thought it was a kind of candy shop he failed to notice. But upon getting closer and closer to said building, he soon realized that it was nothing of what he thought it was. The idea of it being a candy shop was thrown out the window when he saw that all the windows were painted black. Then he assumed it was some kind of club. Because, well, club's don't usually have windows, right? Right? But then he looked up and saw the neon sign that read, "Girls! Girls!! Girls!!!" and another that sat perched on a painted window that read, "Live Nudes". Though he didn't pay much attention to it. Thinking it was one of those kinds of clubs that drag in unsuspecting people into their bar in order to get more customers.

He continued to follow Butters. Follow him all the way to the back of the club that only seemed to get darker and darker the farther they went. That was until the farmer suddenly stopped, making the unsuspecting popstar bump into the blonde's back face first. Getting an unpleasant poke in the nose by said blonde's spine. Which, in hindsight, is pretty concerning. Especially since someone with Butters strength, you shouldn't be able to feel their spine.

But then again, he barely even has any kind of muscle. So either the work that said farmer gives him is actually extremely easy or- or he's just very, very weak. He opened his mouth to let out a heated complaint but let it die on his tongue, deciding that pointing something out like that could be somewhat crude. 

He turns his attention away from the fact that he can feel Butters spine and onto the door the blonde was currently trying to unlock. He was quite literally struggling to turn the key and it was giving him a slight headache. So he slapped Butters hand away and took hold of the bow before turning it with ease. He used his free hand to turn the door knob and wiggle the key out of the slot. He took the key out, giving it to the blonde and getting an appreciative smile in return.

Upon the opening of the door, he was quickly hit with half naked women and the stench of sweat and a heavy smell of latex. This made him extremely uncomfortable and still, refusing to even blink his eyes despite desperately wanting to. Butters on the other hand walked inside like he's done it a thousand times. Greeting the half naked women as he makes his way to the end of the room, leaving poor Stan all alone. It was only when said farmer turned around to look at him that he walked inside, closing the door behind him. Taking quick steps towards the blonde, who had already stopped to wait for him.

Once he caught up, Butters started to walk again. Following close behind the farmer like a little kid in a grocery store who is too scared to leave their parents' side due to the fear of getting lost. He kept his eyes on the ground to avoid looking at anybody in the eyes for the specific reason of not being seen as a creep or a pervert. He saw Butters feet come to a stop, so he stopped as well, keeping his eyes directly towards the ground.

"Sorry that I'm late, Divine. My partner didn't wanna wake up." He said apologetically.

"Cut the shit, Butters. Do you think I'm fucking dumb?" 'Divine' hissed, getting said farmer to flinch at the harsh tone. And something about the way they sounded was oddly familiar. No, like extremely familiar.

He finally looked up to see who this 'Divine' person was, but colored him stoked. Because holy, fucking , shit. He definitely didn't expect it to be his band member, Eric Cartman, to be in a literal strip club, 1,960 miles away from their tour location, in a little town barely anybody knew of, and in revealing clothes all the while wearing a heavy amount of blue eyeshadow.

And he just couldn't help but let out a loud shriek of absolute surprise and terror, "Cartman?!"

Divine, who Stan recently found out is actually Cartman, a fellow band member and lead singer of their boyband, looked directly at him. His eyes widened in horror and his mouth dropped open, leaving it agape and blubbering.

"Stan?! What the--, What the actual fuck are you doing here?!"

He scoffed, rolling his eyes, "I could ask you the same thing, fat ass!"

"AY! I'm not fat, you black ass bastard! I just have a sweet hockey body that you're obviously jealous of." He said confidently.

"Yeah dude. I'm totally jealous of your disgusting tub of fat that you carry around." He says offensively, grinning in triumph at the shock that forms on Cartman's chubby face.

"You guys know each other?" Butters buds in, confusion apparent in his voice.

"Yeah. He's in my boyband." He informs the blonde, subtly ignoring Cartman's angry grumbling.

"Woah! Eric, I didn't know you were in a band!" Butters says incredulously, looking at the fat boy with an amazed expression.

Cartman huffed, shoving a pile of clothes in the young farmer's arms, "Whatever! Just shut the fuck up and put this on."

Stan winced at the loud rustle of clothes but watched as the sunny blonde hurried to get a good grip onto the clothes that was just given to him only to walk away quickly. His steps started to fade out of hearing proximity. Once he was sure Butters was out of sight, he looked at Cartman again just to get a better look at how he was dressed.

eHe ironically looked like a teenage obese woman with short hair with all that makeup on. Especially when he turned around to look in the mirror and apply heavy, black lashes that were equally feather-y in a way. For some reason, he believed Cartman could easily pass as a woman. Despite his hateful rant about how disgusting they are, he looks surprisingly like one. The thought alone was enough to make him giggle. This simple action however caught the attention of said male. Cartman turned around to look at him venomously, opening his mouth to let out a list of horribly racist insults only to get stopped by the sudden tap of shoes.

He turned his head to see where the noise was coming from only to see Butters, wearing a frankly tacky outfit. He was wearing a teal sweater that had dark green frills on the collar and a purple and yellow flower design on the center chest area with a matching dark, green skirt that reached his mid-thigh and to finish off the look was a pair of purple flats that he guessed were supposed to be a dark purple but came out a light violet instead.

Now, Stan wasn't a fashion expert by any means, but the clothes Butters was wearing was seriously tacky and sort of revealing if the blonde were to bend down, even if it was just to pick something up. You'd be able to see everything whether it be a blow from the wind or just simply sitting down. Butters was looking at him and Cartman with a shy and nervous expression, bumping and rubbing his fist's together in an anxious manner.

"Eric, I don't mean to be a priss or anything, but uhm-, what--, uh, why did you give me these clothes?" He asks in a fairly timid voice. Which surprises Stan a bit. He's never heard the blonde sound so timid and shy before. So far he's been strong and confident. Seeing him so embarrassed and uncomfortable was almost unbelievable.

"Butters, call Heidi."

"Eric, Heidi is at an audition today, remember?"

"Butters, for the love of god--, Call Heidi goddammit!!" Cartman hissed, causing Butters to flinch. The blonde nodded ferociously before scrambling around for his phone.