COMING OF AGE | Nishimura Riki

005 | radio broadcast

sato mai
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If someone asked me about my favorite and least favorite in school, my answer would be P.E. It's a sort of hate-love relationship that I have with P.E.

What side of the relationship I'm standing at depends on the lesson. I like P.E. for the free workout, but I dislike it whenever the lesson is all about team sports. Doing team sports at P.E. is just another excuse to force classmates to communicate.

Teachers think they are doing us a favor by assigning groups to help classmates communicate with each other in order to unit the class as one. But we all know it doesn't help at all because there is not a single class out there were every everyone is friends everyone.

I quietly stepped inside the changing room and walked over to the corner where I have my things. The conversation going on among my classmates is like a radio broadcast playing in the background.

They talk about which certain boy they are currently texting, clothes they want to buy, food they want to eat. That kind of conversation topics that always ends up with a plan to hang out after school.

I grabbed my things and walked over to the exit door as fast as I could. I usually wait until everyone leaves so I can use the showers by myself. Not because I feel uncomfortable showing my birthday suit, but because I don't want my classmates to see how dirty I am.

Showering in the hostel is not an option anymore at this point. I would rather skip it than showering along with people who are already creepy enough. On the other hand, I am not in the mood today for my classmates hidden bragging about their teenage life. Plus, I have things to check off my to-do list.

I tried my best not to drop anything while I walking towards my destination. Collecting all your things at once when you are in a hurry is not always the best idea, but the only idea. Amidst the chaos, my phone started to vibrate as well.

It resulted in me dropping all of my things on the ground while I tried to reach for my phone. I sighed out loud and then started multitasking by organizing my things and answering the phone call.

"You have an incoming call from Kesseki Prison, please press-" An auto-generated person spoke.

"How are you, my daughter? Is everything alright with you?" My Dad asked trough the phone.

"I'm doing fine, life goes on. How are you doing? Is Okita still trying to beat you in two-ten-jack?" I replied.

"Of course, he still thinks he has a chance against the regaining champion. There is going to be a birthday celebration later for one of the inmates, which means the management will treat us to delicious food" My Dad announced with a contagious joy.

"You deserve to have fun as well. Do something else other than sourranding yourself with drugs. It's unfair to know your life situation when I am supposed to be the adult among us" My Dad expressed.

"Life has always been unfair. Even though we need to keep suffering for a little longer, it's all going to be worth it once my dream becomes our reality" I reminded him.

"And speaking of fun, I somehow got invited to a party at Kinmyaku?" I replied while chuckling.

"You mean that posh school for rich and spoiled brats? Are you going?" My Dad asked out of curiosity.

"Absolutely not. Why on earth would I choose to voluntarily hang out with people who live with tunnel vision? I just find it. somehow hilarious that I got invited" i answered.

"Remember to keep your distance. The biggest mistake you can ever make is to trust someone like them. All they want is more advantaged for themselves, as if their privileges aren't enough. The final result is always an innocent person who turns into a victim" My Dad reminds me.

This is why I need to hold tight to my dream, to prevent the future from repeating the mistakes of the past.

"The queue for the phone stalls are packing up. I promise to call you back soon" My Dad said

"And I promise to make a visit soon" I replied.

We said goodbye and hung up. I stared at the display to watch the unknown ID disappear before I placed my phone back in my pocket. My inside consist of a giant hole, a hole I'm don't think about until I speak with Dad, who immediately fills up the emptiness inside me.

Life is only worth it because of my dad. I wouldn't choose to continue suffering for this long if my dad weren't alive.

🌥️

I walked right up to the information desk when I entered the hospital, making it quite obvious that I have been here a couple of times before. Unfortunately, not for a good reason, as it is a hospital after all.

"Good evening Sato, are you here to pay your mother's bills?" The actuary asked when I had approached the information desk, which is another reason why it's obvious that I have been here a couple of times before.

I handed her an envelope with the money inside. The actuary counted the money, looked at something on her computer, counted the money again, and then stared at the envelope for a moment.

"I'm sorry, but I think the management has missed a detail in this month's bills because you are supposed to pay double this month" The actuary explained.

"Your mother has received a higher dose of her medicine, and your debts keep rasing as well. That's why you need to pay double this month" The actuary further explained.

My head went blank. There is nothing in there except dust, spiderwebs, and a tumbleweed flying by.

It's not just the hospital bills I need to pay either. I need to make sure I have a roof over my head and food on the table to avoid starving to death. Not to mention, the hospital is not the only place I have debts. My whole life is a debt at this point.

And the worst part of it all is that going to that dumb party might be my only solution. There is nothing more posh-like behavior than wasting their money because it does not have worth in their eyes. For them, it's just a piece of paper with numbers on it.

Going to that dumb party shows how willing I am to do anything in order to make money. I hate displaying myself as desperate on the outside; it makes me look pathetic.

I already feel desperate and pathetic on the inside, I just don't want other people to know about it. I would rather not have people pity and look down on me any further, especially considering their knowledge of my Dad.