Be Your McLovin

Training Montage

"What the McHell is a Tazer: Melts?" Ronald asked Wendy, poking at her hair for the millionth time, not knowing how they remained so life-like when his locks were far from luscious. If only he could grow it out and wave it in the wind like Ariel or idk some ginger kid on TikTok.

TikTok was a new thing he learned, watching Wendy do different dances and filters that she never posted but wrote captions like she would.

"They melt your stupid little plastic brain."

Burn!

"Ouch."

"No offense."

"No! Ouch, my poor little plastic brain!" he pouted.

"What's a brain?" he followed up and Wendy groaned and pushed his face away so hard he moved back a little bit.

"Time to train!" Tony roared and Ronald turned his attention to the buff tiger and his training set-up. There was a trail of traffic cones, zumba weights and a yoga mat stretched out along the ground.

Oh god, he was in for a heck of a sweat!

Sammy and Ronald both walked up to the training set-up, both sweating their pollutant sweat on the ground in fear, Chuck secretly sliding behind them and picking it up in his recycling bin, cuz Chuck's a good guy. Be like Chuck. Chuck's a Hunk. Like Motto Motto, he rides like the wind.

"You will spend the rest of the long weekend training here, at least 7 hours every second day. You hear me?"

Oh no! Not 7 hours!

"You will be connecting with your inner self on this gross smelly yoga mat we found at your mom's place. You will dodge and swerve these traffic cones using our thrifted pink sparkly Heelys and you will lift these weights till you get slightly winded! Let's go, let's go, let's go!"

The McLovers got to work as Tony put on his Glee-style cheerleading uniform and did his little dancey-dance on the side.

"Here comes Westerberg, commin to put you in the ground! Go, go Westerberg, give a great big yell! Westerberg will knock you down and send you straight to He-"

"Knock knock!" comes a voice at the Alolan divider curtain, the silver fox himself stepping in. Ronald looked up in his almost slightly winded state as he powerlifted the small rubber weights and he could swear he saw Sanders staring at his noodle arms. He always knew he had a thing for noodles. He was always snack'n on them uncooked spaghetti sticks.

"Woah, intense training regimen Tony, you sure these sorry sods can handle it?" he tried to neg them.

"Hey don't neg people Colonel! They won't fall in love with you if you keep picking at their egos, it's not nice or effective!" Chuck exclaimed but shut up once Sanders gave him the stare.

It was at this moment that he knew- he McFucked up.

Mmm... maybe I shouldn't neg people - Sanders thought.

His heart then grew three times as big as your dad's c-

"So are you sure we should be doing this without excercise bands? Our McSweat is gettin' up everywhere in people's burger grills."

Chuck was trembling with the physical strain of carrying buckets of plastic back and forth to carry all the small beads of plastic sweat.

So this is why the planet's McFucked.

"Yeah, lemme getcha some- Sike!" Colonel laughed.

"Lol burn!" Wendy laughed.

"We don't have excercise bands. That's why we need to do the heist. We have nothing. Look around at the barren field in which we grow our Bitcoin!"

"Ah. Well then let's go on Amazon. You can order anything online at the click of a button! Quality service right to your warehouse door!" Sammy thumbs up'ped and Sanders clicked the skip ad button.

"We don't have a computer. Or money." Colonel reiterated. "Or internet."

"We don't?" Wendy popped her head in. "SHHHH!! DON'T TELL THEMMM!" The Kool-Aid Man busted through the curtains and then promptly left.

"Oh yeah right right right right right." Wendy shuffled away slowly.

"But we can let you use the fully weaponized mech-suits," Tony factually stated matter-of-factly with facts that are true and facts and also factual. "Should pool up sweat just as effectively."

"Mech-suits?" Sammy asked and the both of them stared at the group as if they were idiots.

"Forget training! We should be playing superheroes!" Ronald exclaimed and they chest-bumped like bro-dude lovers dude, cuz they are two dudes not chillen in a hottub or 5 feet apart but they are gay!

They then played superheroes for 5 hours and saved the world from Dr Doofenshmirtz once again through the power of more-than-friends-ship.