So You Tried to Put a Fire Out, but You Used Gasoline ~ Phan

Chapter Four

Phil's POV

I lay in my bed sobbing into the duvet and resisting the urge to scream at Dan. His words stung like knives digging into my flesh, twisting and turning with every syllable that rolled off of his tongue. I want to scream at him in pain. The pain that he's causing. I want him to know that what he says... it fucking hurts. I want to scream it at the top of my lungs, but I won't. Because he means too much to me, anger and all for me to do that. He's hurting in every way possible, so he has to hurt everything else outside of him. Including me.

I don't want to have to face him again tonight. I can't take it, not tonight. I don't want to ever have to take it again, but I know that I'll have to sooner or later. Most likely sooner.

I sit up and grab my laptop from the floor, pulling it up to my lap and opening it. I click on Safari and go to Netflix, submerging myself in whatever movies are in my suggestion category.

~Three hours later~

Knock knock knock.

I glance at the clock on my computer and read the time. It's 11:39 PM, why would he possibly want to talk to me now?

Despite that, I pause my movie marathon and set the computer down next to me. I walk over to me door and pull open the door to see Dan looking down at the ground sheepishly.

"Well?" I ask with an expecting tone.

"I... I'm so sorry... I- oh god, Phil. Shit, I can't..." He stammers softly. I don't know if he meant it or not, but it didn't matter. He came to me, there's no way I can turn him down like this.

"Shh... It'll be okay. We're gonna figure this all out, okay? We'll be okay, I promise." I outstretch my arms towards him and he steps closer to me. He leans into me and nuzzles himself into my chest as I wrap my arms around his body. I feel something wet against my chest and come to realize that he's crying into my shirt.

"Make it go away, Phil. I don't want to be like this anymore... I don't want to keep hurting you." He murmurs against my chest.

"I know, Dan. I know. We're gonna go to the doctor and have them help us. They'll know what to do. It'll be okay." He only nods in response, seeming to agree with what I'm saying.

"C-can I stay with you tonight? I won't blow up again, I swear. I just... don't want to be alone tonight."

"Sure you can," I say and kiss the top of his head. "Come lay with me."

I let go of him and he backs up slightly as I turn around and go back to my bed. I close my laptop and place it back on the floor where it was before. He walks over to the opposite side of my bed and climbs under the covers as I do the same. We lay under the enclosed heat when he moves closer to me and snuggles up to me. I snake my arms around his torso and pull him flush against my body, our legs tangling together.

"I love you." He says for the first time in forever.

"Love you too, Dan. Get some sleep, you look exhausted."

"M'kay. Goodnight."

I go to say it back but he's already fast asleep in my arms.