"What the hell are you doing here?", Elsie asked when she had gone up to Bella.
"Can we just talk? Please?"
Elsie scoffed. "About what? What is there to talk about?"
"Everything. Just get off your high horse for two minutes and come out into the hall."
Elsie was taken back by the change in Bella's voice. While Bella was the more extroverted of the two, she was also a lot gentler and quieter, and absolutely hated confrontation. Bella was the one who'd hesitantly agree to a fight with a bully after school and Elsie would arrive instead to defend her friend. This was making her realise her fuck up more than even her mother's words earlier.
"K, fine, I'm sorry. Let's go and talk." She mouthed an apology to a very confused looking Nathan before she went out with Bella into the empty hall.
"Okay, I wanted to say this in the office earlier but what the fuck was that earlier? I've been your best friend since Junior Infants and I understand you inside out, down to your fuckin shoe size. But whatever the fuck you were on today, I have no clue what to make of it. I know you're upset about tennis, but I don't know why you're taking it out on me."
"Do you even remember kissing me last week?"
Bella went silent as she shifted her body weight onto one foot. "I apologised for that. It was stupid and it meant nothing."
"You're right, it was stupid. But it definitely meant something if I'm so fucking tormented by it. I don't think I like you like that, I've never thought about you or anyone else in that way. But I have never kissed anyone before and that's what's bothered me. I don't am I straight or gay or whatever the fuck, or if I even like anyone. And the worst thing is that it's not your fault at all but I've been taking it out on you for no reason, and that shit this morning with the tennis just pushed me over. I'm so sorry, Bel, I'm just so fucked up."
"Hey, El. It's okay, I get it. You think I have this shit figured out? I don't." She put her arm around Elsie hesitantly as she cried, and they both sat down. "Why didn't you tell me any of this? I would've helped you."
"I didn't want to hurt your feelings, if you do actually like me or something, or if you're just straight and doing straight girl stuff."
Bella chuckled. "I can handle a little rejection. What I can't handle is my best friend looking me in the eye and calling me the word that my dad called me before he left."
Elsie turned her head towards Bella, and croaked out a "What?".
"Yep, I'm gay. Gayer than Christmas, most likely not as gay as your mothers." Elsie rolled her eyes but nodded to tell Bella to continue. "Anyways, one dinner, my dad was annoying me because I invited Nick and Bobby to that one sleepover we all had a while back. He thought we just wanted an excuse to get with the boys, even though they're like our brothers. Anyway, I got mad, told him that wouldn't even happen because I like girls. Stupid, I know. Anyways, that was a whole thing and we haven't seen him since."
"Jesus Christ, Bella. Why didn't you tell me?"
She shrugged. "I wasn't ready to come out. I didn't want to lose you."
"I have two mothers. It's normal to me and is normal point blank. Would've been like telling me you have 10 fingers and 10 toes."
"You didn't tell me what you were going through. It's not easy to talk about. Do your mothers know you might be something or other?"
Elsie shook her head. "Nope. They'd throw a party if I came out. But I don't know what I am. What are they supposed to celebrate, a nothing daughter?"
"Well, I'd personally rather have a nothing best friend than no best friend."
