"So, what's been happening in Elsie World?"
Elsie sighed, tapping her phone nervously as the car engine lightly hummed and the street lights flashed by them. "How did you know you were gay, Ma?"
Katie's eyebrows raised, but then she softly smiled. "Well, I wasn't sure of anything for a good few years. I didn't really fancy anyone until I met your mother, and even though we were young, at the time, it made me feel very weird. Not liking your Mam, I've loved every second of loving her. But because I never even had a celebrity crush up until that point, I never found anyone I walked past attractive or even thought about any one gender specifically. Other kids were having crushes, maybe even relationships and going the extra steps. I did have it in the back of my mind that I might like girls, but I never liked anyone until I met Mam. It was almost instant. I went home that day and I lay in bed, and I couldn't stop thinking about her. She wasn't just gorgeous, I connected with her on a level that I never had with anyone before. I think by the time the New Year rolled around, I was certain she was the one I'd spend the rest of my life with. And I was right. Even when we were on a break, I never looked at anyone else. No one caught my eye like she did, and that connection is something I've never shared with anyone else. I'm not religious, but I do believe in soulmates because of her. I wouldn't even label myself as gay, because truthfully, I still don't find celebrities attractive. It's only your mother I've ever loved or been attracted to, and I'd still love her if she was another gender. She's just my person. I'd more label myself as demisexual or romantic, that's on the ace spectrum. Informally, I've labelled myself Zoësexual, because she's the only person I'm attracted to."
Elsie smiled as her mother reminisced, raising her eyebrows in interest.
"Is this what this is, love? Do you think you might be gay?"
"No. I think I might just be nothing, honestly. When Bella kissed me, I was so freaked out because I hadn't thought about that before, or her in that way either. I kind of forced myself to fancy Nick, mostly because of teasing from max and my friends, but I really didn't see him that way. But then I kissed him, and we did a bit more, not everything, but I felt nothing. I would feel more kissing a brick wall. I think I'm asexual, but I hate it, Ma. I really do. I want to have a great love like you and Mam, or Max and Jen, or even just be able to hook up in a few years time. But that doesn't feel right when I think about it. Thinking about tennis and healthcare feels right, that's what I want. I want someone there with me, but the thought of that person kissing me or being all cute doesn't feel like me. I might change my mind, but I just feel nothing when I try to fancy someone. Bella's gorgeous, Nick's gorgeous, but I don't feel anything more for them than I do the rest of the friend group."
Katie looked over at her daughter for a split second, raising her hand to rub a tear off of Elsie's cheek. "Oh, pet. Why didn't you talk to us about this?"
Elsie sniffled. "Because ye have enough on your plates besides my teenage crap."
"Hey, El. You're our daughter. You can come to us with absolutely anything. Keeping this like this all bottled up never ends well. And we've both been through this. Attraction and sexuality is such a broad spectrum that labels sometimes just don't cut it, and it can be fluid too. Like, I came out as a lesbian when I started dating your mother, but then I kind of disregarded labels for a while before I came across demi. For me, that means I don't feel attraction for someone unless I have a really deep connection with them, and guess who. Now, your mother is a walking lesbian flag, and I was kind of scared to tell her that I didn't have the same label. But even though there was nothing to be scared of, we also know that it's never easy to come out. And it isn't crap. You're nearly 15, and you're finding out these things about yourself. And if you find that your feelings change as time goes on, or if they don't, we'll be there for you. Do you understand that, El?"
