TAADBOLFAFF.

641-650

641 A Tear of Fear

Everything was going backwards. Yan Zhiyuan could not describe the shock in his heart with words.

He was already in his forties, but he saw himself when he was younger, when he was an adolescent, and when he was a child.

In these memories, the person lying on the bed, who was like an evil spirit that did not die and made him afraid, gradually became young and solemn, but sometimes, he seemed to be a kind father.

Even his dead mother had come back to life in his memory.

Yan Zhiyuan could not explain what was going on. He was like a bystander, watching his childhood experiences replay. He was just a guest, unable to touch any of the scenes in his memory, nor could he interfere with those things.

At first, it was shock, then it became calm, and finally silence.

Yan Zhiyuan noticed many differences. He realized that his fear of Yan Qingyun started from a small matter. He memorized a poem wrongly. Yan Qingyun stopped smiling and punished him to memorize it ten times.

After Yan Qingyun left, his mother, Qi Xinyue, came and scolded him severely. She said that if he didn't work hard, he would let her down. If there were other children in the residence, he would definitely be killed by others.

Qi Xinyue's punishment was much harsher than Yan Qingyun's. She hit him so hard that his palms were bleeding. She kept asking him if he had remembered. The little him, the weak him, promised Qi Xinyue again and again that he had remembered.

Yan Zhiyuan couldn't help but tremble when he saw this. Was this the case? Was this the case?

But why was it different? In his memory, he had a fever. After he recovered, he could no longer remember the reason for his punishment.

However, after this incident, he was very afraid of his father, Yan Qingyun. He was afraid of being despised by his father, afraid of being punished by his father, afraid of doing something wrong, afraid of being useless.

Whenever Yan Qingyun revealed a little bit of his emotions, he would be very nervous and afraid. He thought that he was afraid of Yan Qingyun, but in fact, he was not. He should be afraid of his mother, Qi Xinyue.

When he didn't do well, Yan Qingyun would only scold him, while Qi Xinyue would punish him and ask him to change.

He felt that it was too pressurizing. He felt that Yan Qingyun was like a mountain pressing down on his heart. Day after day, year after year, the pressure, hatred, and dissatisfaction increased. He had long stopped treating Yan Qingyun as his father.

However, from a bystander's point of view, Yan Qingyun was heartless and made use of women. However, he also taught and nurtured his descendants diligently. He wanted to build the prosperity of the entire Yan family.

As his son, he had disappointed him.

He had never even thought that the person he had suppressed in his heart for so many years was actually his mother, not his father.

Yan Qingyun was also passively enduring his emotions. He had already restrained himself and tried his best not to show his emotions in front of him, but he had never understood the helplessness and disappointment in Yan Qingyun's eyes.

Yan Zhiyuan also realized that it was not his father who was suppressing his heart, but his mother. Be it knowledge or marriage, everything was arranged by his mother, and she left a shadow in his heart.

But he couldn't say that his mother didn't love him. Qi Xinyue had done so many things for him and Yan Zhenzhen. How could he not appreciate it?

However, this favor was really too heavy.