Chapter 1

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This is not a book that will tell you how to commit suicide. It is a self help book. In which I hope to provide you with some common errors in thinking and behavior that we humans engage in to our detriment but don't always realize are  literally killing us, albeit on an installment plan.
Many of life's lessons must be lived in order to learn them. I have struggled with mental illness for decades. If I have learned one thing from living with mental illness and very real disabilities it's this: feelings are meant to be felt, they aren't meant to be fixed. Toxic thoughts and behaviors can create feelings that we need not experience. However,it can be very difficult for us to realize that we're poisoning ourselves and those around us. Be blessed, be well, be wise, and believe that you can change your life, and your situation no matter how hopeless and hurtful it seems. None of us can live in nor change the past. For many of us, the past is so full of pain and regret that dwelling on it just creates overwhelming depression. That's not to say that we can't learn from it, it's just not healthy to dwell on it. I read somewhere once a quote that said: "If you continue to focus on everything that you've lost, you may just lose everything you have" Dwelling on the past can rob you of the present quickly. The future with its fears and uncertainties can reek similar havoc on our lives. Dwelling on it can easily create alot of anxiety. There is unparalleled value in planning and setting written specific, manageable, articulated, realistic and time based goals. This is a productive and healthy practice, dwelling on a myriad of what ifs and unknowns to the point of stagnation is not. All we have control over are the choices we make in the present moment. We live and operate in the present. Having a written plan to reach your goals is great because it will serve you as a roadmap or blueprint with which you will be able to find your way through life and return your focus to what you want to achieve when life's unexpected events distract you. The other benefit of having a written plan is that it helps to build self-efficacy, it helps you feel good about you by feeling good about what you do. Put another way, as you accomplish each task toward achieving your goals, you'll come to realize that what was once a list of tasks has become a list of accomplishments, evidences of your success and you'll feel good about yourself. Just look at what you learned, and what you did. That's valuable, you're valuable to you and to the global community.

In the following chapters I will discuss some common behaviors and cognitive distortions that are physically, mentally, and socially harmful to health and wellness.  I will also discuss some approaches to changing them.

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