RECOVERY {Damiano David}

you haven't changed

{tw: self harm}
"Coraline its been over a year and you're still as bad as you were before, if not worse" my mum says as she enters my room.
"i know mum, i'm trying, you have no idea how much i'm trying. i've even applied for a music production job" i respond, feeling like i'm not enough for her.
"oh, thats good, dinners on the side i'm just popping out to see my friend" she replies, leaving my room. i stare at the sealing wondering where it all went wrong, when my father got abusive? when i was being bullied? when the anger towards others changed into anger towards myself? i try to go to sleep to distract myself from the thoughts.
"ugh why can i never sleep anymore i love sleeping!" i shout out of frustration, i used to sleep most of the day and sleep all night. its the one time i can escape my thoughts. i get my phone off the side and decide to text my friend.

hey, hows things going?

good, it was bellas birthday yesterday, that was so fun

wait she didn't invite me?

well no, she hates you

i know but you're my friend too

cora, i'm allowed to hang out with other people will you chill out

my mind starts racing, why does she never wanna see me, she always says shes tired and i understand that but then she always sees bella, i wish bella liked me it would make it so much easier. i look over at my bedside table, i get my blades out of the draw. i stare at them, its almost like i'm waiting for someone to tell me not too do anything. i start cutting myself, seeing those red lines is so strangely comforting.
"mums right, i haven't changed" i say to myself. i lay down on my pillow and manage to get to sleep.

not long after my phone rings waking me up. ughh, i see a random number i don't recognise but i decide to answer it out of curiosity.
"i got the job?!" i'm in utter and complete shock "i'm working with måneskin?!?!" i put down the phone. i can't believe i not only got the job but i'm måneskin THE måneskins music producer!! my phone buzzes and i see a notification saying *@ykaaar + @maneskinofficial followed you back* i nearly fall out my bed, yes i was fangirling. i decide to message måneskin

hi! i can't wait to join you in the studio tomorrow, hope you're looking forward to meeting me :)

hey its damiano, i'm beyond excited, our old producer was so uninspiring and ugly. luckily you're not either ;) see you tomorrow xx

i try to play it cool and just double tap the message but i can't not thank him, can i?

why thank you, i could say the same about you haha! x

thanks, message me on my personal account sweetheart xx

i send a dm on his account

hey, me again haha x

hey beautiful, i wanted to give you my number and ask you a question but i didn't want the others seeing it ;) xx

go ahead... x

i think you and me should go out on a date eh? you're stunning Coraline, my number is ***** *** *** hmu okay? <3

i double tap his message and add his number to my phone. "WHAT THE FUCK OMGGG" i scream, i'm so excited! bring on tomorrow

{a/n: this chapter is so bipolar 😭😭}