I'm Not A Crybaby! (I Promise)

Nightmares

The memories were playing in Melanie's mind. Her brain decided it was a good time to play back all of the memories that she shelved in the back of her mind during the summer. She could hear her mother's voice yelling at her. "Shut up you little shit!" "Quit your crying!" "You are so fucking annoying Mel!" "Cover yourself! You look like a whore!" "I wish I never had you!" "You were a fucking mistake!" "You're a spoiled brat who knows nothing about the world!". The voices were getting louder and louder. There was nothing she could do right now but over her ears and cry to herself. She curled up into a ball, the sheets covering her, scrunched up. She let her salty tears run down her cheeks. She promised herself not to cry tonight or she'll have a headache the next morning. She couldn't help herself. She was that sensitive. She believed that she was sensitive. She was taught to suck it up. Then she was told by her new family that it was okay to show her emotions. She was conflicted to the point where it hurt her head. It could have been the tears.

Thirty minutes later, she was able to go back to sleep. She felt lightheaded, feeling hot. Her body felt cold, the blanket they gave her was fluffy enough to keep her warm. They even added a thin, second blanket so she wouldn't feel so heavy. The feeling of being weighed by a blanket on a cold night felt bliss though. She was surprised that she was even given two blankets. When she lived in her old home she only had a vintage thin blanket that could have been at least 20 years old. Maybe for aesthetic reasons which was odd of her mother to do. Maybe she still wanted to keep a picture-perfect family even if it was the inside of her house. Even with the aesthetics, she went along with it. Melanie moved her hands under the pillow for support, moving her stuffed animal close to her in the process. He was a stuffed bear named Felipe. It was a gift from her mother on Christmas when she was four years old. She remembers good vague memories of her mother. When she was sweet and not drunk off her mind.

After a while, Melanie woke up outside of her old house. It was a night that was covered in a blanket of fog. She got up from the floor and looked around. No one was there. She realized she was in the back of the house. Was she dropped off? Did they decide they didn't want her anymore? Was she too much? Was she too much to handle? Was she too emotional? There was so much she wanted to know. She was so confused. She let out a sob along with wet tears. She saw a blond woman flung open the door violently. She had her hair up in a red bow, with strands of blond falling off. Her eyeliner had streamed down from her face like they were tears. Her white dress was stained with vomit and blood. She was losing her balance, holding on to the door frame to keep herself standing. Melanie knew exactly who she was.

"Melanie!" The woman who turned out to be her mother, yelled. Her words slurred a bit. She had a liquor bottle in her other hand. "Get your whore ass back inside or I'll make you fucking regret it!"

Melanie backed away but tripped, falling on her butt. She could feel her legs getting weaker from the fear. The smell of alcohol and vomit was so strong that Melanie gagged. She turned away from her mom. She didn't want to get dragged by the hair and end up back in the hell hole that was her old home. She jumped out of the wooden fence that separated her house from the forest. Her feet hit the sticks that gave her splinters. She didn't care that she was bleeding. At least the dirt was covering the blood. She let tears out in fear that she was going to be caught. She turned back. Big mistake. She tripped on a branch which made her fall into a hole. It was like she dived inside. She screamed but nothing came out of her mouth. She hated dreams like these because she could feel the falling. If she fell she would wake up. She looked around her. Her surroundings were filled with all of her fears. The wolf man's face being repeated, merged on the walls and each other. The sounds of her father moaning through the walls sounded like a tortured ghost. She can still smell the alcohol. She can hear people chanting crybaby while laughing. Her mother's voice just yelling and repeating horrible, vile things to her. But what scared her more was the blanket coming after her. The blanket was white but covered in blood. It had a silhouette of a body. It was getting closer to her and the blankets were slowly revealing a face. She couldn't make out who it was. The hole was getting narrow the more she was falling. She reached for the opening in the hole. The light is so bright yet so small. She felt something hit her back which made her do a back bend. She heard a crack and immediately shot open her eyes.

Melanie immediately sat up from the bed while taking faint breaths. She touched my back with my hand to see if it was broken. Thankfully, it wasn't broken or fractured. Though it did scare her to death, she was thankful that she was not dead. She was still scared to death as she thought she had broken her back from that fall. She looked around the room to see if she was still in the house. She didn't have the vintage sheets from her previous room except for the soft blankets that Donna had given her. She laid her head back on the bed and held on to her stuffed animal. She couldn't help but cry again. She was so frightened by her dream. She just wanted a good night's sleep without any nightmares. She wanted to sleep without being reminded of her fears and her trauma. She let more tears out of her eyes while bawling into her pillow. She did this before falling asleep fifteen minutes later.