Chasing Hope [HIATUS]

CHAPTER 33

"Anong nangyari sa 'yo?" Warren asked me as I got into his car, umuulan. Hindi ako sumabay sa van na sumundo sa mga ibang doctors and nurses. I was wearing a black long fitted dress - I'm wearing a jacket, my hair was loose, I was also wearing sunglasses. I look like I'm going to a funeral. But the truth is that I just don't understand myself.

Since Bicol, I've been quiet, I can't even look at Ralpkiel again after what I did last night. Ralpkiel and Fritz were supposed to be next to each other on the plane, but I changed tickets with Doctor Ren so my next-to-siders were different. I just want to bury myself alive. I can't do it anymore, I don't know how to talk to Ralpkiel again. Nahihiya na 'ko nang sobra.

Pinagkrus ko ang braso ko at sumandal sa bintana, wala ako sa mood magsalita. Nagpasalamat na lang ako ulit kay Warren nang maihatid niya 'ko sa condo. I immediately entered the room and lay there to think about my life. I really want to disappear from this country, can I go ahead with my plan to run and hide in another country?

But why would I even do that? It's just a kiss! Big deal. Bakit ko ba kasi hinalikan si Ralpkiel? It's because of the alcohol! Hindi na talaga ako ulit iinom kung nasa paligid lang si Ralpkiel. Last na 'yon. I took a nap before showering and organizing things. I have also prepared the gifts I bought for Ralph from Bicol. Doon na lang ako buong araw.

I hurried to walk into the hospital again even though I was carrying an umbrella. The rain will not stop. I smiled again at the nurses who greeted me until I entered Ralph's room. I felt like someone was nailing my foot when I saw Ralpkiel sleeping next to Ralph. Dito pa ba ako aalis? Nakapasok na 'ko, oh. I closed the door quietly and placed my things on the table. I even did drive thru food.

Lumapit ako sa kanila at hinawakan si Ralph para tignan kung mainit ba siya o ano. I didn't mean it but the skin of my hand touched Ralpkiel's skin, is he sick? I touched his skin, mainit nga. I opened the side drawer to see if there was medicine for the fever. Wala roon. Kinuha ko na lang ang maliit na box sa bag ko, it's just medicine pills so that if I have an emergency, I have medicine.

Since I wasn't sure if he had eaten, I just sat on the side and ordered food. Then I opened my laptop to entertain myself, I studied while waiting for the food I ordered and Ralpkiel to wake up. Mas lalo lang lumakas ang ulan, tinignan ko sa bintana.

"Kanina ka pa?"

Napatingin ako sa likod nang marinig na ang boses ni Ralpkiel, that sounds weak. I nodded as an answer, bumalik na ako sa pagkakaupo. "Sit down. You are sick, you need to eat." I said without looking at him. Ni hindi niya yata alam na may lagnat siya.

"I'm okay, thank you-"

"Sit," I warned. I looked at him this time. Nilagay ko ang food sa harapan niya nang umupo na siya. "Have you taken your medicine?"

"No. I was fine earlier,"

"Okay. Eat," utos ko.

"How about you?"

"Kumain na 'ko sa condo," iniwas ko na ang tingin ko sa kaniya at bumalik sa pagta-type sa laptop sa isang document na blank.

I KISSED HIM I KISSED HIM I KISSED HIM I KISSED HIM I KISSED HIM I KISSED HIM I KISSED HIM I KISSED HIM I KISSED HIM I KISSED HIM I KISSED HIM I KISSED HIM I KISSED HIM I KISSED HIM I WANT TO KI

I stopped writing when I realized what I was going to write. No, I am not going to write that. Hindi ako 'yon. I deleted all the useless things I typed and just remembered the details I could remember from the pdfs I read earlier.

"How is the perfume?"

"Huh?" I blankly answered Ralpkiel. When our eyes met, it was like a light bulb lit up on my side when I remembered the perfume bottle he was asking about. "Oh, I forgot. I'll give it to you tomorrow," I gave him a shy smile.