Falling in love is such a sweet thing, but only if it isn't that dangerous. Falling in love with your best friend isn't that bad, right? especially if they return your feelings, but what if they don't? Will you die from the pain? grow flowers from your lungs? or just forget you were ever friends with them? Either way, this cliché friends-to-lovers troupe is a problem I will never get out of.
Being friends with Aerene is the best thing to ever happen to me. Being able to stay by her side and dream the future with her is a dream come true for me. We've been inseparable ever since grade school; there wasn't one lunch break that I ate alone; in every groupwork we always found ways to be in each other's company; we never missed a single sleepover at each other's house; she knows the things that I hate and love; I know everything about her too. Unfortunately, the only thing she doesn't know about me is that I'm deeply and madly in love with her.
When she got her first boyfriend, I was devastated and, of course, happy. I was devastated because the girl I dreamed of having a future with is building her future with someone else, and I was happy because she finally found someone who can love her the same way that I do. And when she first experienced heartbreak, I was there holding her close to me while she cried herself to sleep. I hate seeing her so devastated like this; I don't want her to feel the pain. And while she cried in my arms, I was plotting every possible way to get back on her douchebag of an ex, and later that day, I engaged myself in a fist fight with someone a lot taller than me. Her first heartbreak was my first ever black eye.
Years have passed and college is hell, but even with our tight schedules and sleepless nights we always find ways to hang out, and during one of our sleepovers where we're both intoxicated, I groggily told her I liked her since grade school, "You can't be, we're both girls." She crocked, rubbing her sweaty palms all over my face. She laughed it off and passed out. I felt a pang in my heart. I tried to swallow the growing lump on my throat. My nose was burning due to the fact that I've been keeping myself from crying. Hearing her peaceful breathing, I caved in. I cried beside a peacefully sleeping Aerene. I cried until i felt myself succumb to sleep.
The next day, no words were said about what happened that night. She noticed my red, almost bulging eyes and questioned them, but I shrugged my shoulders and casually told her, "Maybe it's because of the weed we smoked." She let the topic go and continued on with whatever she was doing, but for me, the pain hasn't subsided one bit. I continued with my day a little less happy and a bit more gloomy. I avoided her at all costs, in the hallways, during lunch breaks, and even in class. I needed to protect my heart from further destruction that she didn't know she was causing.
For the past few months, I've been doing okay until she came up to me and asked why I wasn't the same after that night. I responded with a shrug and walked away. She caught my arms to turn me around, looked me dead in the eyes, and said the words I've been meaning to hear: "I remembered everything you said, I was just too scared to even respond, I'm inlove with you too René. I thought it was just normal for me to feel this way because we're friends practically sisters, but everyday its getting even more confusing, and i haven't realize that during the times that im with you i've fallen deeper."
She looked at me with expecting eyes. I smiled and pulled her closer, realizing that all I'd ever need was her warmth. Maybe this cliché friends to lovers troupe wasn't that bad at all.
