the shadow in Shadowhunters

chapter 64

i listened to what alec and magnus was talking about.
magnus "about your wedding."
alec "there's no conversation to be had."
alec "i'm getting married."

alec "you and i, we understand marrtiage very differently."
me "for love."
alec "shut up leo."
me "okay."

alec "i'm a shadowhunter."
alec "this is about family, and tradition, honor--"
magnus "honor?"
magnus "where's the honor in living a lie?"
alec "what are you talking about?"
magnus "what about love?"
magnus "even shadowhunters fall in love, alec."

magnus "just tell me you're in love with lydia, and i'll stop."
alec "i don't know."
alec "why do you keep pushing?"
alec starts muttering and confusing his words.

alec "you're confusing me."
magnus "confusion is part of it."
magnus "that's how you find out if something's there."
magnus "emotions are never black and white."

magnus "they're more like symptoms."
magnus "you lose your breath every time they enter a room."
magnus snaps his fingers.
magnus "your heart beats faster when they walk by."

magnus "your skin tingles when they stand close enough to feel their breath."
magnus "i know you feel what i feel, alec."
alec scoffs "you don't have any clue what i feel..."
alec "so back off."

alec "this is all just a game to you, isn't it?"
alec "you flirt, you laugh, you use magic, but at the end of the day, what do you risk?"
alec "even if i did feel something for you..."

alec "you want me to give up my life for you?"
alec "i have to do what's right for me."
alec "i could lose my family, my career, everything!"
alec "you just don't get it."
magnus "you have a choice to make."
magnus "i will not ask again."

magnus and rogue leave us there. i leave as well to sleep for i bit. i wake up and went to magnus.
me "hi magnus you doing okay?"
magnus "not really."

me "he will make up his mind."
me "don't worry he likes you."
magnus "how are you and my brother doing?"
me "good."

jace and clary walks in.
clary "morning."
me "morning."
jace sighs "morning."
me "morning."
i stood up and sat next to him. i pat his back.
jace "you just come from training?"
clary "yeah."
clary "i'm, uh, workin' on my right hook."