Matt was with you when you got the call.
It had been a relaxing night up until then. You and Matt were on the couch, his arm was over your shoulder, holding you close. You were watching a movie, it was nice to spend time with him.
It was the middle of the movie when your phone started ringing. You accepted the call, not expecting to hear what you did on the other line.
When the words were spoken, you stayed still and quiet for a long time. You didn't know what to say or do. You felt like you should be screaming, crying, anything. But you just sat there and let it sink in.
You stood up, mumbling a thank you over the phone. You heard Matt call you from the couch but you didn't respond. You walked into your bedroom and shut the door behind you. You didn't mean to shut him out, you just needed a minute to process this.
You were on the phone for another five minutes, discussing the date and time for the funeral and how everyone was doing. Once you hung up, you stood silent.
It didn't take him long to find you.
"Babe?" He spoke softly and you looked up at him from the ground. It wasn't until you heard his voice and saw him, the tears started to flow. Like he touched a deep part in yourself that you were afraid to show until he was there.
"Babe!" He stepped closer to you. You felt his hands on either side of your face, searching for something in your eyes. "What happened?"
"My grandma died" you whispered. "She was sick, I mean, we saw it coming. We weren't even close, but still.." you didn't have the words to describe how you were feeling, but the tears rolled down your cheek.
"Come here" he whispered, wrapping you in his arms. You reacted immediately and wrapped your arms around his waist.
Matt held you for a long time, not saying a word. He didn't know what to do or say. Nothing he could say would fix the situation and that broke his heart. You were the woman he loved and if he could protect you from every harm in the world, he would. He rocked you back and forth, running his hand through your hair.
The next few days were slow. You went to work because you preferred keeping busy, rather than staying at home. Thinking back to your grandma, you didn't think of any memories that you had of her that made an impact on you.
At home with Matt, you were okay, but every so often you stared into space and he could tell you were fighting with your emotions.
The funeral was a week later and it took you a long time to get ready. You weren't prepared to be standing around a crowd of people in mourning. It was the first funeral you'd been to in years. Over the week, Matt had been nothing but supportive, he cancelled some meetings so he could be there to hold your hand. He was your rock.
At the funeral, he didn't stop touching you and you loved him for it. Your family loved matt, even your extended family who he never met, but took kindly to him despite the nature of the gathering.
After the funeral, you stepped into your apartment and Matt pulled you into his chest.
"Have I ever told you that you're amazing?" He whispered against your ear and you allowed yourself to smile. Matt always reminded you of how much you meant to him.
"You're amazing.." you whispered "I know I haven't been the nicest person to be around...but you're always there for me and I would've fallen apart without you. I love you" you toyed with the collar of his black button up shirt.
You stood on your toes and kissed him.
"Let's watch a movie, get your mind off it" he offered, kissing your forehead and waiting for your answer.
"With popcorn?" You asked, looking up at him, smiling.
"Go get comfortable, I'll be there in a minute" he nodded his head, smiling.
An hour later, you were comfortable on the couch with Matt, your legs on his lap. After a debate over what to watch, you finally decided to watch The Hangover. The movie had you laughing and giggling.
You almost felt normal again.
"Matt?"
"Yeah?"
"Do you think it's bad I'm enjoying myself? I mean, something awful happened and people are sad.." your voice trailed off as you looked at him and you could see his heart break.
Matt paused the movie and put his soda on the coffee table and patted his lap for you to sit on. You crawled over to his lap and straddled his hips so you could look at him.
"Listen to me" he started, furrowing his eyebrows. "You don't have to feel bad for being happy. Yeah something awful happened, but you've been crying for the past week. And you've been so strong and you've been good and that's why I love you. I'm sorry, I'm not the best person at this, I don't know what to say.."
The trembling in his voice made you realise how hard this must have been for him.
"What you said was perfect" you smiled and his eyes lit up.
You returned to watching the movie together, this time with you settled within his lap and both his arms wound tightly around you. You laughed and joked around, every so often participating in some live commentary and giggling whenever Matt had something to say about what was onscreen. You were happy—utterly content and happy.
