My Fault

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Based on the Bash/Catherine scene in 'Terror of the Faithful'

Bash could never understand why Catherine preferred all of her children over her daughter Claude. She always seemed to pay so little attention to her compared to the others. As much as he could see the issues Claude had, he felt sorry for her. Speaking to Catherine was not something he was looking forward to, but he really felt that Claude might change a bit if given a chance.

As he entered Catherine's room, he expected to be tossed out the second she realized who had called on her, but she didn't. Actually, she seemed oddly okay with him being there. It unsettled him. Something seemed off about her demeanor. She spoke to him, as she stared into her bible. Her mind obviously elsewhere. Here words came as though they had open honest conversations all the time. Something was most definitely off, he just couldn't put his finger on it. He was getting uncomfortable and decided to go, but gave her a parting bit of advice, to show Claude some affection. He didn't really expect her to take his advice, but thought someone should stick up for Claude. Just as he was about to leave, the strangeness of the situation became even more apparent.

Catherine walked over to her bed and sat, lifting the covers up, as though there were someone else in the bed. She was almost completely unaware of Bash's presence at this point. Bash had a terribly familiar feeling of dread. The same feeling he had the first time he realized Henry had a screw loose. This wasn't right at all. He closed the door and made a mental note to keep an eye on her. He didn't want the situation to get out of hand, and he really wasn't entirely sure what he had witnessed.

For the next few days Bash watched Catherine and her servants to see if any of their activities seemed odd. For the first day or so, everything seemed fine, but on the third day, he saw Catherine stop in the hall and it looked as though she was speaking to someone, but no one was there. He got in a little closer to see if he could hear what she was saying. He couldn't make out everything but it sounded as if she were speaking to a child. His mind flashed back to their conversation in her room. The way she was talking about her children, specifically her dead twins, could this be who she was speaking to? Only one way to find out.

"Catherine. Who are you talking to?" he said making himself known. Catherine whipped around to meet his gaze.

"You don't see them do you?" she said with an odd look on her face. "I must be going mad just like Henry. I've come to accept it over the last few weeks. There's really no other explanation. I only ask that you don't tell anyone. Francis has enough problems right now. He doesn't need another mad parent to deal with." she said. Bash cringed remembering how Francis handled it the last time. He didn't want to see Francis go through that again.

"Them? So it is Henriette and Emone that you're seeing isn't it?" he asked. Catherine nodded.

"I can't seem to shake them. I suppose it's fitting. Their death has plagued me for years...Would you do me a favor? Make sure someone takes care of me before I completely lose it. I don't want my children to see me like that." she said with a strange calmness.

"Take care of you? You mean kill you?" he said. She nodded again. "Catherine, no one is going to kill you. Something isn't right. This isn't right. You of all people. I can't believe you're really mad. Perhaps these ghosts are real. I have heard talk of a reckoning. Many are seeing spirits after the plague." he said.

"Then why can't you see them?" she said.

"Perhaps, because they don't want me to." he offered. "Maybe if you were to figure out why you are seeing them, they'd go away."

"I already know why. It's my fault they died. I couldn't protect them." she said, she pushed past Bash and continued on down the hall as he looked after her.

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