Loving my Badboy

Heart to Heart

Cause I don't wanna feel how I did last night
I don't wanna feel how I did last night
Doctor, doctor, anything, please
Doctor, doctor, have mercy on me, take this pain away
You're asking me my symptoms, doctor, I don't wanna feel

A lot has happened since that incident at school. I took a couple of days off to get myself together, which truthfully I needed. The incident kept flashing in my mind, and it didn’t help that the bruise on my neck was a reminder. Everyone seem to be keeping an eye on me, I guess waiting to see if I have a breakdown. I know they are worried about me, but truthfully it was getting a little unbearable.

And truthfully I felt more anger than fear about this whole situation. I guess that guy was suspended or expelled, but all I know is that he didn’t come back to school. However when I did, everyone’s eyes were on me. But it felt like all they were staring at was my bruises. It caused this self conscious feeling to form in my chest, causing me to stay covering up. I guess Zach noticed the change in me as well, because he didn’t say too much when his hoodies would randomly disappear. 

When it came to Amy she was suspended for two days and that was it. I don’t know how, but she somehow twisted the situation around taking none of the fault. The only thing that she was in trouble for was starting the fight between me and her.

Bitch played victim the whole way through

Mm, lipstick smudged like modern art
I don't know where the fuck I am or who's drivin' the fuckin' car
Speedin' down the highway, sippin'
Mixin' pills with the liquor 'cah fuck these feelings
I left everyone I love on read (uh-huh)

Pulling my airpods out when the song paused, I pressed the cool off button on the treadmill. Terrell has been dragging me to the gym each morning ever since I was caught walking alone again in the middle of the night. This was our deal for him to not tell Zach, which I really didn’t mind. I actually kind of like going to the gym. It feels like when I work out, I don’t have to think about everything. 

“You finished for the day?”

Terrell questioned holding out a bottle of water, and I nodded almost draining the whole thing.

“Yeah.”

Pulling out my phone I saw it was five, should be enough time to get ready for school. Terrell dropped me off  like normal, and like routine I got ready. Staring at myself in the mirror, the bruise on my neck had darkened enough, which meant it was healing fine, but I still hated looking at it. Catherine and Marie have been showing me how to used concealer to make it not as noticeable. When done right, you can hardly tell it is there which I want. I had dressed comfortable and simple today. Putting on  my Los Angeles jersey shirt, some black leggings and my white sneakers. I pulled my hair into a poney tail, before doing the concealer.

A soft knock on the door made me realize that I have been in here way too long.  Opening the door, my eyes widen to see Zach, but then again I really shouldn’t be.

“Hey babe.”

Smiling, he pressed a light kiss to my lips, before I hugged him. 

“Morning.”

Pulling him into my room, I grabbed my bag and phone, before staring at the hoodie on my bed. It has been a struggle to not put it on, but it is supposed to be hot today. Speaking of hot, Zach’s gaze felt like fire going over my body. Peeking over my shoulder, I watched his eyes flicker to every part of my body before meeting my eyes. A smirk formed on his lips, as he leaned against the door frame.